The Sacrifice
by gneebee
Summary: He just stood there with his arms hanging at his sides, feet spread apart, eyes focused straight ahead and jaw clinched tight, while she beat on him. Merle Dixon and Beth Greene Romance / Drama no za
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hello my Merle lovers! Sorry I haven't had a story for you lately, I'm trying to make that up, at least a little bit. This is something that has playing around in my head a while and I finally put it on paper. I hope you'll enjoy it.**

00

He just stood there with his arms hanging at his sides, feet spread apart, eyes focused straight ahead and jaw clinched tight, while she beat on him.

Her tiny hands were clinched into fists and she was hitting his chest as hard as she could. She was strong but a little thing like her wasn't causing Merle Dixon any real pain, at least not physical pain. Her words were painful, they hurt and he couldn't deny they cut real deep. And he'd never heard her talk like that, use those words, cuss him out that way, but he was glad for it. He wanted her to hate him, he wanted her to walk out that door and never look back, never regret having left him.

"You son of a bitch, how can you be this way, how can you be so cold?! You said you loved me and all that time it was a lie? You were just feeding me a lot of bullshit so you could what? Play with my feelings? Play with my heart? Get another notch on your bedpost? I never thought I'd be capable of hating anyone but I hate you Merle Dixon! I'll go to my grave hating you."

He was good with that, oh he didn't want to hear it, not ever did he want to hear those words coming from her lips. But he wanted her to have those feelings toward him, to hate him just that much. It was what came next that nearly killed him, nearly made him take it all back, nearly made him tell her why it was that he'd said those things.

Because suddenly she quit hitting him and just stood there in front of him, crying hard. Her whole body was shaking and never had he wanted to hold her more, scoop her up in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn't. In his mind it was _because_ he loved her that he was doing what he was doing. He never thought of himself as being a noble guy, in fact he was pretty sure he was about as far from noble as a man can be. But for her, for Beth, he was trying to do the right thing.

 **It hadn't always been like that…**

The first time he'd ever seen her she was young, way too young for him. That didn't mean he didn't have trouble keeping his eyes off her. But he wasn't the kind to go after little girls and this girl couldn't have been more than 15 or 16. He was 26 at the time.

He'd gone over to the high school that day to get his younger brother Daryl. Their no-good Daddy had been killed in a bar brawl some time in the early morning hours and he wanted the kid to hear it from him, not hear about it through town gossip.

Someone was off to get little brother out of class while Merle waited in the school office, that's when she came in. She had a note from her Mother, something about being late because of a doctor appointment or some such thing. That didn't matter. What mattered was how beautiful she was, and how off limits.

After that it seemed like he suddenly began seeing her around. Had she always been around and he just hadn't noticed? Or maybe it was that she was just now old enough to get a job, whatever it was he saw her damn near every time he went in the grocery. That was his job, he drove a truck for a local beverage distributor and he delivered those beverages, mostly beer and soft drinks, to the various groceries, convenience stores and bars in the county.

She worked in the bakery section of the big grocery there in town. He supposed it was an after school job. He'd see her back there pulling loaves of bread, rolls or pies out of those big ovens. His favorite was when she was decorating cakes. Something about it seemed to make her happy and she always had a big smile when she did that. He liked seeing her happy.

He never spoke to her. She wasn't counter help, even at her young age they kept her in the back baking and decorating. He remembered thinking she must be real good at it.

One day he saw her in the drug store looking all serious as she was deciding over some kind of makeup. He wanted to tell her she didn't need that, she was a natural beauty. Of course, he didn't, he never spoke to her. She was off limits.

He had girlfriends. They were nothing like her, they were like him. Older, experienced and looking for a good time. The truth was he kind of "went through them," a new one every month or so. He was hard to please, hard to handle, and real hard to love. The combination of those things definitely didn't enhance the prospects for long term romance. That was all fine with him. A little partying, a little belly bumping and a lot of moving on. That covered Merle's relationship needs.

A girl like that little one, she'd be a whole different kind of girl than he was used to. She'd be the kind a guy had to be real careful with, treat her right and reel her in slow, before he got a chance to break her in. Yeah, that would be some serious fun, then he'd cut her loose so she could find herself the kind of fellow a sweet thing like her ought to be bedding.

He thought he had this, he thought he'd be in the driver's seat, but Merle Dixon got caught by surprise.

He might have thought he was just there to play but instead he fell, and he fell hard and fast.

 **How it Started…**

He dreaded going, it just wasn't his kind of deal, but he mustered up every bit of love he had for little brother and showed up for graduation. He didn't think he'd be so proud, but when Daryl got that diploma he stood right up and hollered, "Hell yeah little brother!" That got some attention. Someone else got their diploma that day too. He didn't stand up and holler for her, but he wanted to real bad.

He saw her folks, he knew who they were. Good people that lived out on a farm, church-going types. That little honey was a good girl, a farm girl. That just made the thought of getting with her even more enticing. Breaking in the sweet little farm girl with the golden hair and the pretty blue eyes.

Graduation day was a big deal for Merle in another way, little brother was 18 now, little girl must be the same. Time to make a play.

He was scheduled to deliver at that grocery where she worked three days a week. Friday to get them well stocked for the weekend, Monday to replenish the stock sold over the weekend, and Wednesday, also known locally as sale day.

He had a little plan and he planned on it working. It just required some patience on his part. Patience was not something Merle Dixon had much of, but he was going to use every bit of what he did have to try and make this happen.

Now that school was out he figured she was working full time, and he was right. He started off by making it a point to be at that grocery every morning before he even began his route. He'd walk right back to the bakery counter and make a purchase. A muffin, a donut, a roll, something, anything just to have a look at her and try and make eye contact. When he did he'd smile broadly and wink at her and after a week or so she started smiling back. It was a shy little smile and she always looked so nervous, or maybe embarrassed, but she smiled and then she'd cast her eyes down.

He'd pay for his purchase and when he was out of sight of her he'd toss it in the waste can, while he made his way to the truck.

He was pals with the store's butcher and one day he casually mentioned, "Damn that's quite the sweet little thing workin' over in the bakery."

"Yeah she is a pretty little thing ain't she though? Shy as the day is long and real, real quiet. I'd sure like ta see her nice little ass in sumthin' besides her baker's uniform." Merle wanted to deck the guy.

Instead he asked, "She work here every day? I ain't noticed her before."

His pal replied, "Far as I know same as the department manager, Monday through Friday, 6:00am to 2:30pm." Then he snorted, "Ya dirty old bastard, don't you go gettin' no ideas about that little taste, she's mine." Merle laughed right along with him, but again he felt that urge to deck the guy.

After three weeks she started to smile more openly and she held his gaze just a little longer before she looked away. After four weeks he made his big play.

It was one of his regular delivery days, Monday. He'd restocked everything and then he waited in the delivery truck right near the stores' back entrance. At 2:40 when she walked out that big steel door he hurried from his truck and over to where she was just getting ready to unlock her car door. "Hey there girl, nice ta see ya outside a the bakery. Here now, lemme get that door for ya."

Her little face was so flushed and she didn't meet his eyes when she handed him the key, "Thank you. You're Daryl's brother, aren't you?"

He never suspected she might know who he was, but this wasn't his first surprise in life and he hid it well, "Why yes I am, name's Merle Dixon. Now ya have an advantage over me, can I ask your name?"

She stammered just a little and her voice definitely sounded like she was fighting nerves, "Beth, Beth Greene. I feel like we're sort of friends, I mean I see you every day and all."

It was going better than he expected. "Well I'd like nuthin' better than ta be your friend. I'll tell ya what, how about I come by an pick ya up Friday evenin an we go have us a friendly bite ta eat? Would ya want to?"

Her face went from a pink flush to a deep red blush and he saw her hands looked to be trembling just a little. Even though he could barely hear her answer it was music to his ears, "Um oh, well yes, I think I would. What time?"

Hot damn it was going to happen. He figured a farm girl was probably used to an early supper, so he suggested, "I could pick ya up at six, would that work for ya?"

"Yes."

He was starting to worry she might faint, "Well Honey I'ma need your address an phone. I'll tell ya what, why don't ya take my phone here an put your number in. I'll send ya a text an you can send me your address. How's that?"

"Okay." A women of very few words.

This was looking to be even more interesting than he'd hoped for. He'd never known a woman so shy, the idea held a little excitement for him. Helping her through that shyness, while teaching her a thing or two, it was going to be even better than he'd first thought.

Over dinner that night she told her folks she had a date Friday evening. Their eyebrows were raised as they looked at each other across the table. Their daughter didn't date. Boys had come around, and there was a nice young man at church they knew for a fact had asked her, but she wasn't interested. They worried she might be a little afraid of boys, but when they tried to ask her about it she'd get upset, she'd say she wasn't scared at all, that she just hadn't met one she cared enough about to give her time to. She didn't want to talk about it any more than that. They didn't want to push it.

Beth's truth was that she was indeed very, very shy and she was maybe just a little afraid of boys and their rough and loud ways. She'd heard them talk and they could be so vulgar, some of the things they said, the way they talked about girls. It was all kind of frightening.

Merle Dixon didn't seem like that at all. She remembered when she'd first seen him, that day he'd come for Daryl. Later she learned why he had. The rumors had gone around for years, that Daryl's Daddy was the meanest drunk in six counties and that Daryl had suffered more than one beating. She couldn't even imagine a Daddy being so cruel and hateful. And she realized Merle must have been mistreated in that same terrible way. It hurt her to think of it.

But that wasn't all she thought about Merle that day, or all that she thought about him in the time since. She couldn't tell you why, she wasn't sure herself, but as shy as she was and as reluctant as she'd been to ever have anything to do with any boy, she wanted to have something to do with him. She wanted that very much. There was something about him, well maybe there were a lot of things about him.

He was older and that didn't bother her at all, in fact she liked that. The boys her own age were so immature. And he was so handsome in a kind of rough and masculine way. Yes, that was it, manly, very manly. He was big, strong. She tried to be sneaky as she watched him move those heavy beverage cases around like they were nothing. It gave her a tingling kind of feeling just to see it and watch his muscles move, flexing as he lifted.

Her Daddy asked, "With who Bethie, who have you finally said 'yes' to?"

"His name is Merle, Merle Dixon."

Daddy and Mama both felt their hearts go to their throats, but they tried to look calm, like everything was normal. They knew exactly of whom she spoke. "I see. What time will he be coming after you, and where is he taking you exactly?"

"He's picking me up at six and I'm not sure which restaurant or anything, but we're going out to dinner."

Mama just plastered on the best smile she could manage, "Well that sounds nice. I look forward to meeting him."

It was later as her parents lay in bed, that's when they quietly spoke about what was going on. They had concerns, he was so much older than Beth. Daddy guessed him at about 28. Not that he didn't approve of his daughter dating an older man, he was after all 20 years older than her mother. It was that Merle, well he seemed so rough and he came from such a rough and hard family. A family that had a certain reputation, and as hard as Daddy and Mama tried not to sit in judgement, it was a fact that just wouldn't be ignored.

Did he drink hard like his Daddy did? Was he violent like his Daddy had been? Mostly they worried about their daughter's safety with him, and her innocence.

In the end they agreed, she was of age, she'd obviously been very choosey about who she was going to date. She was sweet and she was smart and they had to trust her decision. "I don't know what else to do Annette, I'll just have a quiet word with him before they leave."

"Alright Hershel, I don't know what else we can do either, short of locking her up and throwing away the key." Her laugh was soft and not at all happy. "I just pray it will all be okay, that this Merle Dixon is the good man our daughter seems to think he is."

00

 **A/N I guess we'll all find out soon. Thanks so much for reading along, and as always I'd appreciate seeing your comments / reviews. The chapter photo is posted on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check that out. This story will post on Thursdays and I hope to see you back here next week. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hey you guys! Thanks so much for reading along, for the follows and the favors. I appreciate you all.**

 **We're a small but mighty fandom!**

00

 **The First Date**

He showed up just a bit early, there was no way he was keeping that pretty little farm girl waiting. Part of his plan was to show her what a good man he was. He figured a good man showed up on time. As he stepped out of his pickup he took a quick look around. The place looked just like he'd imagined it might. It was big, what you'd call sprawling, old fashioned and oh man it was quiet out there.

He looked up just in time to see her peek out the upstairs window and it made him smile. She must be in her bedroom, he'd like to be there with her. But for now he'd settle for her being every bit as anxious for this evening to begin as he was.

He was anticipating there could be some kind of trouble with her folks. Hell, why wouldn't there be? Aside from the fact that she was barely eighteen and he was pushing thirty, a man had to ask himself, what Daddy in his right mind wants a man like Merle Dixon coming for their daughter? So when Hershel Greene asked him, "I wonder if we could have a quick word in my office," he wasn't surprised. But shit, he hadn't even seen her yet. Maybe they had her locked up in that room.

He was prepared for the worst. He knew his family had a reputation and whether these folks knew him or not they'd surely heard stories about him and his family. He was pleasantly surprised when it was just reasonable Daddy-type stuff. "I want you to be aware that Beth's mother and I have our concerns. Beth hasn't been one to date, and well you're quite a bit older and I'm sure you have experience with women. All I can do is ask you to respect her and remember that she is young and she is innocent in the ways of men, and she's precious to us."

Merle was a polished bullshitter and he had no problem at all coming up with the appropriate response. "I understand that sir an I plan ta treat your daughter with the care n respect she deserves." Suddenly it struck him, shocked him a little really because he realized then, somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind and heart, he meant what he said.

When he and her Daddy came out of the office her Mama called up the stairs, "Bethie, your young man is here." He had the urge to turn and go right then. "Bethie?" That even sounded too pure. "Young man?" Who were these people?

But then she came walking down the stairs and he knew he wasn't going anywhere. All he could do was smile and tip his head to her, and she gave him that sweet shy smile right back.

She was wearing a dress and there wasn't one thing sexy about it. It was cotton, pale blue in color with little pink and yellow flowers on it. It had a high round collar and was fitted at the waist then flared out in a full skirt that hit even with her knees. She had a little white sweater draped across her shoulders, just the top button was buttoned. Yep, there wasn't one thing sexy-looking about it, it was quite prim really. He'd never felt so turned on by the look of a woman.

Maybe it was the hair, the way it hung down in soft curls that looked like they could spin out of control if a man were to run his fingers through them. Or maybe it was the big blue eyes that seemed to speak to her innocence, or it could be the shy smile. Or it could just be her. She radiated some kind of sweetness and all he knew for sure was he wanted to taste that sweetness. Wanted it in a real bad way.

He could see she was nervous and he already knew how shy she was, he simply said, "Ya look real pretty Beth. Ya ready ta go have a little sumthin' ta eat?"

She looked at him with those eyes, those damn eyes might just be the death of him, and she simply answered, "Yes, thank you." Quickly casting those killer eyes down.

He stepped it up with the folks, "It was real nice meetin' y'all, I won't keep her out too late and I'll take good care."

For Beth's part, well she nearly fainted when she walked down those stairs and saw him standing there, waiting for her. He looked so big and so rough and so perfect. His broad face and bright blue eyes, and that great big smile. And there was the body, the broad shoulders and the muscular build. Everything about him was appealing to her, she didn't really understand why and she didn't really care.

She just felt it, for some reason all of it combined to make her feel oddly comfortable in his presence, like nothing could ever go wrong if Merle Dixon was around. But that wasn't all of it, not at all. He also made her feel warm all over. She'd never wanted a man to touch her, but she thought maybe she'd like to have Merle Dixon touch her.

He didn't usually open doors for women or help them in a vehicle but she was different. He did those things for her. He wanted to. And watching her get her small self up in that truck, well it was just more sweetness. On their way into town he kept glancing over at her, she sat straight up with her delicate looking hands folded in her lap. Such a proper lady and everything about that proper lady seemed to get him going.

He knew, he knew like he knew his own name, she was not at all the woman for him. This was way too much sweetness, way too much innocence, she was way too young. But he didn't give a fuck, she was the woman he wanted and he didn't think he could ever change that truth.

Within just a few minutes of being with her his mindset had gone from thinking she was just some young pretty woman he'd play with and break in real slow, have all manner of fun with and then leave her be. To being the woman he knew he'd never want to lose, never want to give up, that he'd kill any other man who tried to get close to her. And shit, he barely knew her. It didn't seem to matter.

This whole deal had pleasure and pain written all over it, and a freight train couldn't stop Merle Dixon from pursuing it.

He didn't eat out a lot himself. Just occasionally he and little brother had a meal out together. He sure as hell didn't take women out for meals, he took women out for drinks. But she wasn't just any woman and she was too young for bars.

There was a nice little Italian joint in town and he'd made a reservation there. Now he thought he should check with her, make sure she'd like that, "Beth, I thought if ya like that sorta thing we'd go for Italian. Is that alright, ya like that food?"

She seemed to be wringing her hands and her voice sounded almost apologetic. "I think I do. The only Italian food I've ever had is Mama's spaghetti. Oh wait, and pizza. Sometimes my sister Maggie and I go have pizza. And I've watched lots of those cooking shows where they make Italian food. It looks very good."

Shit, he thought, she really didn't get around much. "Well how 'bout we give it a try an if we don't like it we ain't ever gotta go again."

"That sounds very nice to me. Thank you, Merle." It was the first time he heard her speak his name and he was surprised by the little thrill it gave him.

The place was dark. Dark tables, black leather seating, dim lighting. It was perfect. She slid in the booth and he slid in next to her. "Whatcha need ta drink Honey? Coke? Sweet tea?"

She turned a little pink and acted nervous again, "Don't be shy now, I want ya ta have what ya like. What would that be?"

"Do you think they have lemonade?"

"I got no idea but I'll sure find out."

Lemonade, yeah, he should be a standup guy and just leave her be. That's what he should do, but he wasn't going to. When the waiter came he ordered her the lemonade and himself a bourbon rocks, he was having some kind of little case of the nerves his own self and the bourbon was a good relaxant.

Things were definitely a lot easier when a man and a woman went out drinking, both knowing already exactly how the evening would end. He had no idea how this evening would end except that he was pretty sure there wouldn't even be a goodnight kiss, much less any bouncing around in bed.

He took a quick look at the menu and decided right away on the lasagna. She studied it like she was trying to memorize it. "Whaddya think Honey?" He found that he couldn't help himself, he had to touch her even if it was just innocent. He let his finger lightly run along the back of her hand. When she made no protest, when she just shyly smiled at him with those flushed cheeks, he kept doing what he was doing.

"I don't know Merle, there's so many choices. What do you think?"

Just because she was young that didn't mean he was going to treat her like a kid, or like someone who didn't have their own likes and dislikes. That wasn't at all the kind of relationship he was craving with her. "Well I think ya oughta have what ya like, whaddya hungry for?"

She turned an even brighter pink before saying, "I think I'd like that pasta primavera." That would be one of the last things he'd ever order, a bunch of vegetables, but somehow it seemed just right for her.

He smiled, softly squeezing her hand while he did, "Sounds real good."

He knew if there was going to be conversation it was going to fall on him to get it started and to keep it going. "So ya been workin' there at the bakery a long time, ain't ya?"

"Yes, I guess so, just over two years now. I always notice when you come in the store." She didn't look at him when she said it, but she didn't have to. How could he have missed it? This sweet little gal had been interested in him for as long as he'd been interested in her?

"Well I ain't ever in there that I don't notice you. You're the best lookin' treat they got in that bakery." He smiled broadly at her while she looked like her face was on fire. He quickly asked, "So ya like that kinda work pretty good do ya?"

And that's when Merle Dixon saw Beth Greene suddenly come to life. She was animated and her voice had a level of excitement, "Oh yes, I love it so much. I love baking, I always have. What I really like though is when I get to decorate the baked goods, make them look even more special. It just makes me feel happy."

"Well ain't that nice. I always do notice that, when you're decoratin' cakes or cupcakes an whatnot, ya always got a big smile on your face. So I guess you're plannin' on stayin' there at the grocery, huh?"

"Well I am for now. Someday I'd like to be a real pastry chef. It's been a dream of mine for a long time, but it's very expensive to get the education. I'm not really a trained baker. Mama taught me everything I know, and I've experimented with recipes and things. I just don't know that I'm ready yet. I've been putting almost all my money back though. I'm saving to maybe go to Baking and Pastry school."

"They got schools for that stuff?"

"Oh yes. Well there are all sorts of culinary schools and you can specialize in different areas, but I'm really only interested in pastries and baking."

"Culinary, huh. I guess it's obvious I don't know nuthin' about it, but yeah, it sounds like fun if you're into all that. I bet you'd be real good at it too. I notice they keep ya where they actually do the work and not at the counter."

She smiled, he was so nice, so complimentary. She thought she ought to be the same, "Well I guess I know what you do, do you like your work? I've watched you at it and I always think it's a good thing you're so strong."

It was flattering coming from her. He wondered if she really gave a shit, but she must, she didn't seem phony. "I do like it fine, it gets me out an about. But I'm going ta night school a couple nights a week."

"Oh really, what are you studying Merle?"

"Logistics. I'd like ta get outta the truck drivin' and delivery part of the business someday and move into the logistics side, ya know, like how much ta order, how much ta send here and there, what days ta go ta different locations, the best freight means and timin', warehousin' all that kind a stuff."

"That sounds complicated."

"Well I guess it kinda is but I think I got a pretty good feel for it an I kinda like the challenge of it. An the truth is, I don't wanna be 50 and still luggin' around cases a beer and coke."

"You're very smart to plan ahead that way. As far as my planning goes gosh, I've never gotten past the point of just wishing I could save enough for culinary school."

"Well ya got plenty a time ta plan." He didn't mention that she probably didn't need to worry, he'd be more than happy to take care of her and every one of her needs. At this point he already knew, he was into her.

She didn't eat much, that's how it seemed to him, but then she didn't look much like a girl that ate much. He'd never been with someone so tiny, not even when he was a teenager. He still thought he ought to ask her though, maybe she was just shy about it, "Ya sure ya had enough ta eat Beth?"

"Well I promise I won't waste it, I'll take it home and eat it for lunch tomorrow. It's just that, well I was saving room for the best part, dessert."

He fought the urge to throw his arm around her and start laughing out loud, but yeah that would really embarrass her, so he kept it together and simply said, "I ain't worried about ya wastin' it Honey. And I think that's some good thinkin'. Ya see there? Ya are a planner."

She had her dessert and he had a coffee while he watched her enjoy it. He thought only little kids got that excited about sweets, and he tried to shut it out of his mind when he remembered, shit she was a kid.

He asked her if she'd like to take a little walk after dinner and she smiled and said she would. He was getting the hang of this dating thing and as long as it was her he was dating, he was liking it real well.

He kept an open palm on her low back as they walked by the now closed shops looking in the windows and just making idle conversation. It amazed him he wasn't going out of his mind with boredom. But he wasn't, not at all. He was liking this with her.

She was pretty sure this was the most perfect night of her life. He was so nice, such a gentleman. She loved the way he made her feel like an adult, and the way he seemed so interested in her. He wanted to know what she thought about things, and he worried if she'd had enough to eat. And he just smiled when she said she didn't want to finish her meal, that she'd rather have dessert. Of course, it didn't hurt at all that he was so handsome. Now it had a face for her, she knew what sexy looked like. It looked like Merle Dixon.

As much as he never wanted to take her home he also felt like he had a little something to prove to her folks, that he could be trusted, that he was a man of his word. He said he'd have her home early and he would.

As he opened the pickup door he held his hand out to her. She took it and he helped her up, but she didn't get up in the cab. She stopped and stood with both feet on the running board as she turned to him. He didn't think he'd ever been more stunned by anything than when she laid her pretty little hands on his shoulders, bent down and kissed his cheek, "Thank you so much Merle, I had such a nice time tonight."

He could see she'd made herself blush and for him that just added to his desire. His big rough hands went right up, but they were gentle as they engulfed her small face. He pulled her into him kissing her hard and with a passion even an innocent young woman couldn't mistake.

As much as he would have liked to have her right then and there, he used every bit of self-restraint he could muster and pulled away. "Sorry, I just couldn't seem ta help myself Honey."

Her face was crimson and she was breathless when she told him, "I liked it Merle."

He knew it, ah did he ever know it. He'd lost the battle, he'd lose the war. Shit he didn't even think he'd fight it. This sweet and tiny wisp of a woman had him thoroughly and completely whooped. And he didn't even mind her owning him. Not one bit.

00

 **A/N Well gee, it appears Merle is all kinds of twitterpatted and Beth seems to be right there with him. This is not exactly how he expected it to all go, but it appears he's ready to just roll with it. We'll see how that works out. I thank you so much for reading along and please leave a review / comment. There's a chapter photo on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check that out. I hope to see you all back here next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks so much to all for following, favoring or just reading along in the background. I appreciate you all!**

00

 **The Ride**

He didn't make it far, he'd barely turned onto the rural route when he had to pull the pickup over. This hadn't been in the plan, not in the plan at all. The plan had been that he'd take her home from the first date and leave her wondering a little, not make any future dates with her right away. Then during the week, say Tuesday or so, he'd asked her if she cared to have dinner with him again on Friday.

The thing about plans is they're subject to breakage, changes and the occasional complete revamping. A lot of times things just take a turn and a guy is left to fly by the seat of his pants.

He turned off the ignition and reached for her hand, "I's thinkin' maybe, hopin' really, that Sunday ya might care ta go for a ride with me."

"A Sunday drive? That sounds really nice, I'd like that very much."

Hmm, "Well I wasn't speakin' of a drive exactly, more of a ride, a ride on my motorcycle."

He watched those killer eyes get huge, "A motorcycle? Well, I don't, well um, I've never been on a motorcycle. They look like they're very dangerous, and gosh, well scary. I'm just not sure." As much as she wanted to spend her Sunday afternoon with Merle Dixon she was having a moment of panic.

He smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile, "Well now Honey they sure can be dangerous and downright scary if a person don't know what they're doin'. But I'm promisin' ya right now, I've had lots n lots of experience ridin'." It was then his big rough hand moved from her hand to gently cup her cheek, "I'd never take a chance with you Honey, never. I promise I'll take real good care of ya."

She hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt. When he touched her like that and talked to her in that way, it just got her feeling all manner of warm, and excited and happy she was with him. She'd have agreed to just about anything. "Well yes, of course, I'd love to go Merle. I go to church on Sunday mornings but I'll be home before noon."

That really made him smile, his little church girl. "Well how bout 12:30 then, would that work for ya?"

"Yes, but um, what should I wear?"

"Well now you'll wanna wear jeans an if ya got boots that would be best. Better bring a little jacket too, just in case." She hardly had a bit of meat on her bones, she might get cold ridin' on that hog.

"I do have cowboy boots. I always wore them when I showed my horse at the fair." This got better all the time, his church-going country girl.

"Well that sounds just right Honey." He smiled that big old wall to wall grin and she smiled back. And he just had to, "Can I ask ya for one more kiss before I take ya home?"

She didn't answer, she didn't think she could. She just kept smiling shyly and nodded her head. It was going to have to hold him for a day and a half so he made it count. He parted his lips a little as he pressed them hard onto hers. Not hard enough to hurt but hard enough for her to know he was feeling her. He was encouraged and a little thrilled when she didn't balk at his tongue checking out the inside of her pretty mouth.

It was tough, he had to work hard at it, real hard, not to go for anything more than that kiss. When he finally pulled his lips back he whispered, "You're a real pretty woman Beth."

She looked down at first, but not for long. When she looked up in his eyes she whispered, "You're a very handsome man Merle."

He couldn't help it, he ran a hand through her hair letting his fingers play a little in those soft curls, and he chuckled softly as he told her, "Well I ain't sure that's true but I sure appreciate ya sayin' it." And he couldn't resist one more quick kiss.

Her Daddy had the door open almost the second they hit the porch. Merle didn't mind, he understood. He knew the man he was and he knew the man her Daddy was. If he was that man he'd be worried about the man at his door too.

She smiled, "Hi Daddy what are you doing up?" Merle didn't have to ask, he knew exactly why Daddy was waiting up and he didn't blame the guy.

"I just didn't want you coming homing to a dark house."

Merle played it cool, offering his hand to her Daddy and they shook. "That was real thoughtful Sir. I'll let y'all get some rest now. Beth, thank you again for a real nice evenin', I'll see ya Sunday for that ride."

"Alright, thank you Merle."

As soon as they were in the house her Mama appeared from the hall in her housecoat and looking anxious, her Daddy asked Beth, "What's this about Sunday?"

"Well after church Merle's going to come by and take me for a ride."

"A ride? What kind of ride?"

"A ride on his motorcycle." Mama sat down in the closest chair and Daddy nervously ran a hand over his head.

"What about Sunday dinner with your family?"

"Daddy I've been having Sunday dinner with my family my whole life, I don't think it's the end of the world if I miss once."

00

Merle was up early Sunday morning polishing chrome like he was getting ready for a military inspection. Once that bike was looking brand new he hopped in the shower and polished himself up. He put on his good jeans, the ones with the starched seam right down the front, a freshly cleaned and starched snap front shirt, wide leather belt with a brass buckle and his motorcycle boots. He stopped on the way to her place, picked her up a helmet and he was ready to show his Honey a real good time.

He wished he could quiet the big hog down just a little before pulling in her driveway but that didn't happen with motorcycles. It was impossible to hide your approach or your getaway. He knocked on the front door and when her Daddy answered he could see it in the old guys face, he was disturbed and perturbed.

"Sir, nice ta see ya again." He held out his hand, trying to maintain a cordial relationship. Merle was smart enough to know it wasn't in his best interest for them to be adversaries.

"Son. I hope you understand Beth's Mother and I are not at all pleased about this motorcycle ride. Not only is our daughter missing Sunday dinner with her family, but those things are far too dangerous."

Alright, okay, he could handle this. "I'm real sorry about Sunday dinner sir, I had no idea about that. I wouldn't wanna keep Beth from her family. As for the bike, I can promise I'll take no chances with her. It's just gonna be a nice little ride, not too fast, we're staying on main roads, no tricks, no showin' off. I guarantee it."

"Well she's determined to go with you so we can't stop her, I just want you to understand we're not happy."

"I do understand. All I can tell ya is what I told ya, I'll be real careful. That, an I know she has work in the mornin', I'll have her home early."

"Well thank you for that at least." It was clear her Daddy wasn't going to lighten up but that was okay. Merle wasn't there for Daddy.

Besides, everything was a whole lot better than fine when Herschel called up the stairs and she came hurrying down with that big warm smile on her face. He was pretty sure she could thaw icebergs with that smile. And cute, damn she was cute as could be. That tiny body in those tight jeans, a western style shirt and belt, and damn, those cowboy boots. Merle found he'd suddenly taken a serious liking to cowgirls.

She practically squealed when she got up close to the big machine. "Oh Merle it's beautiful. It's like a work of art or something. I never expected it to look so nice, and it's so shiny. I'm still kind of scared, but gosh I'm also really excited." He smiled to himself, all that polishing was worth it.

"Well I'm real glad ya like it Honey cuz I already know I'ma like havin' ya ridin' up close behind me. We're gonna have us a real good time, nuthin' scary I promise."

He knew her Daddy was probably peeking out the window so he was careful to look serious when he helped her with the helmet. Then he gave her a little instruction on how to get on and off the bike. "When we're ready you just hold your hands up high on my hips, if ya get scared grab onto the coat. Don't worry now, I ain't out ta scare ya or ta prove I'm some kinda bad ass. Alright Honey?"

"Yes Merle, I think I'm ready."

He smiled as he got on the bike, then held a hand out to her, "I'll help ya keep steady now while ya get on, it ain't all that different than gettin' on a horse."

He figured Daddy's eyes were still on him so he took it as slow as he could getting out of that driveway, but as soon as they were out of Hershel Greene's sightline he stopped the bike. "Okay now, I just wanna let ya know I'ma step it up a little Honey, we'll be doin' the speed limit from here on out. Ya get scared, ya need ta stop for any reason ya just pat me hard on the back a couple times. I'll pull over. K?"

"Alright, I can't wait Merle." Music to his ears.

He got it in gear and they were off and that's when Merle Dixon found out just what he'd been missing on his bike rides when, instead of holding onto his sides, she wrapped those slim arms all the way around his waist and hung on real tight.

She'd been so scared of this ride and her parents had so vehemently objected to it, they'd given her a big lecture on how terrible motorcycle wrecks were. They even showed her images on the Internet. She didn't know where the courage came from, she wasn't a girl to question her folks or to argue, but she wanted to go with Merle and she did find the courage. "You can see just as many terrible images of car wrecks, or how about farming accidents? Why don't you google that? I'm sorry Mama and I'm sorry Daddy but I want to try it, and I know Merle will be careful. He promised and I trust him."

"How can you say you trust him? You barely know him Bethie."

"I know Mama but I just feel it, he'll make sure I don't get hurt."

She was glad she'd put up the fight when she saw him standing there at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her. He smiled his big smile and it seemed so sweet, and maybe just a little devilish. Being honest with herself she knew, she kind of liked that devilish side of him too. And he looked so sharp. She liked that his clothes were pressed, and she liked how he filled them out even more.

When he was so sweet to her, the way he explained everything about the bike, how he helped her with her helmet, how he said he'd stop if she got scared, it all made her even happier she'd fought for this time with him. And then, well he put the whip cream on top of all of it when he put on his jacket. She knew she'd never seen, nor would she ever see, anything as sexy as Merle Dixon in black leather.

He thought his newest plan was the new perfect plan, or at least a damn good plan. But now that he knew she hadn't eaten, well yet again the plan may need some alterations. He headed for the destination, but once there he'd see what direction to go.

He'd found the little shop on the Internet, it was over in Straley, just twenty-five miles down the highway. A perfect ride really. The pictures made it look real cute, like something that would appeal to her. The menu of treats definitely sounded up her alley. It was all sweet pastries, handmade candies, specialty ice creams and old-fashioned fountain drinks, like sodas and malts. There was not one damn thing on that menu he had the least bit of interest in. That was fine, he'd had his fill of Tennessee whiskey the night before, this day was all about making her happy.

When he pulled in front of the place she hugged him even tighter, "Merle! It's goodies! A whole shop full of goodies!" Well dammit, he had done good.

"Ya just get off real careful now, then you can have your goodies." She was the only goodie around he was interested in having.

He helped her get the helmet off, took his own off and hung them from the handlebars. He was pretty confident no one in this small berg was going to bother their stuff. "Did ya like it Honey, the ridin'?"

"Oh Merle I loved it, it was wonderful. I thought I was going to be so scared but I wasn't scared at all, not with you there." And she turned scarlet when she added, "Especially holding onto you that way, it felt so safe, and so good."

Shit she practically gave him a semi speaking those words from that sweet mouth. There was only one thing to be done, he put his mouth on hers. He was kissing her hard and deep and it was all happening right there on main street in Straley, Georgia. He marveled that she wasn't resisting even a little bit, no, not at all. It was like she melted right into him. Ah man she was trouble for a man like him, just like he was trouble for a woman like her.

He pulled back enough to cup her face in his hands. He was smiling as he pretended to scold her, "Now what's this I hear about ya missin' your Sunday dinner? Ya didn't tell me nuthin' about that Honey."

She looked nervous, like he might really be angry. He gently brought her little head closer and kissed the top of it, "I ain't mad, never. Not at you. But I ain't gonna have ya go hungry. C'mon, I see a little café down the street there."

"But I thought we were going to have goodies." He could swear she was pouting and reality slapped him real hard right across the face, she was still a damn kid in so many ways. Yeah but he buried that thought somewhere deep in the back of his mind because he also knew she was ready to become a woman. End game for every plan Merle had was he would be the man that made her a woman.

"Now don't go gettin' upset. We'll get us a little sumthin' ta eat an then I'll buy ya all the damn goodies ya want. How's that?"

That smile made anything he had to say or do worth it, "Okay that sounds alright."

"That's my girl." He gave her a fast and hot kiss, wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and they walked to the café.

He didn't miss the looks they got along the way or once they stepped in the small restaurant. Why the hell wouldn't people be looking? He knew he looked like a rough old cob and she looked like the sweet innocent woman-child she was.

She tried to get away with ordering just a side salad, "Nah Honey ya need more'n that." Shit, had he taken her to raise? He didn't want to be her parent, he wanted to be her man, "Wait, no, I'm sorry I said that. Ya have what ya want."

"Well how about a small cup of soup and a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Is that what ya want, or ya want that salad? I shouldn't a said nuthin', ya have what ya want."

She smiled that smile and when she did even those killer eyes smiled. He was a little surprised and liking it a lot when she squeezed his hand. "I really want the soup and sandwich. Just not as much as I want goodies."

He laughed as he leaned in and kissed her cheek, "Fair enough. I'll tell ya what, ya have the lunch, ya get what ya want at that goodie place an a couple things ta take home. Ain't no reason ya can't do that, I got those great big saddlebags just made ta haul whatever ya want me ta haul for ya."

He ate a chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and green beans while she barely nibbled around at her food. He knew she was saving room for what she really wanted and he'd made up his mind he wasn't fighting it.

It was at that sweets shop that Merle got busted.

They were sitting in a small booth with pink upholstery on the seats. She was in her element. She had a root beer float in front of her and she was eating the biggest cupcake he'd ever seen. And the way she was eating that cupcake was one of the sexiest things he'd ever watched. She had her tongue out, licking the icing off real slow, while she twirled it around in her hand. It was enough to make him suddenly like cupcakes. Or maybe he wanted to be a cupcake.

He was sipping on a cup of coffee and she looked at him like she might laugh, "See? You spoiled yourself for dessert. Now you know, you have to save room for the best part."

He smiled right back at her and said, "Well Honey I don't really care for sweets. I never do eat 'em." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he realized what he'd done.

Her eyes got huge, like she was shocked and she called him out, "Merle Dixon! Every morning you come to the bakery and you get yourself a sweet roll, or a Danish or a coffee cake. What do you mean you don't like sweets?"

He didn't have time to make up a lie. She may be young and she may be innocent but she wasn't stupid. She started to laugh, "You stinker! You just wanted to come to the bakery and see me, didn't you?"

He smiled back, "Well yeah, ya caught me."

It turned out to be just right for him. She took the helm then, putting her small, delicate hands on his cheeks, leaning up and kissing him. "I'm so happy you did." And he felt it then, it was like an epiphany, she was more dangerous than he'd realized, he really could fall hard for this woman.

He hadn't told her Daddy the honest to God truth, it wouldn't matter anyway and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? Part of Merle's plan for a little fun was to take her off the beaten path a little on the way home.

It was just three miles from the highway and the old logging road was in surprisingly good shape. It was beautifully forested and there was a pretty little meadow with lots of wildflowers. It was a place he and little brother had shot many a deer, those deer were partial to the sweet meadow grass.

He was off that bike as soon as she was steady on her feet. He helped her with the helmet, removed his and as soon as the helmets were out of his hands those hands were on her back, gently pulling her into him. She didn't resist and he kissed her tenderly, but not with heavy heat. He was saving that for later.

When he leaned his face back she smiled, "Merle this place is so pretty. It would be perfect for a picnic."

"Yeah, yeah it would. Someday we'll do that." They held hands as they walked the area talking, sharing with each other and getting better acquainted. Then the kissing started again. This time he tested those waters just a little.

He got a blanket from one of the saddlebags, "Shall we sit for a while?"

"Yes okay."

The sitting didn't last for long. He soon had her stretched out on the blanket and he lay tight up next to her. They were kissing and he was holding an open palm on her side. After a few minutes, as the kissing became deeper and more passion-filled his hand began to slowly glide up and down her side, and soon his extended thumb brushed along her breast. She froze but didn't say anything, at least not the first time, the second time she did.

She pulled her lips away, put her hand on his cheek and said, "Merle I don't think you should do that stuff. We just started dating."

He'd expected she'd stop the fun but a man can hope, "I'm sorry Honey, a course you're right. I just got caught up. I hope ya ain't mad."

"Of course not, I'm sure you didn't really mean to." He'd never felt it, but shit he felt it now, guilt.

He held her close, "Yeah Honey, that's right."

As he held her she whispered, "I never thought I'd like to have a man kissing me that way, you know, with his tongue and everything. It sounded so disgusting. But Merle, when you kiss me like that it makes me feel excited. I want more too, but I think we have to wait."

Damn now she really was giving him a semi, maybe more, "You're right Honey, a course ya are. You call the shots."

He'd done it, gone completely off the plan that beat all other plans, the plan where he was the one who called the shots, always. And damn if he hadn't just put a hundred and ten pounds of young and delicate woman in charge of his love life.

00

 **A/N Things are progressing, maybe not at the pace Merle would like, but we'll see if a little patience pays off for him. Thank you all for reading, please leave a comment / review. If you'd like to see the chapter photo it's posted to my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick. I thank you all again and hope to see you back next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thanks so much you guys! Well, there seems to be a lot of talk that Merle is already a goner - yet no one feels one bit sorry for him. We're going to learn a lot about what each of our players is thinking this chapter. Enjoy!**

00

It had been two months now and Merle was feeling frustrated, cranky and generally ready to throw in the towel on the whole shittin' thing.

He'd been on every kind of date he could think to go on. He'd taken her to dinner, they'd walked around town, they'd walked in the park, they'd been to the movies, they'd gone fishing and they'd had their picnic in the meadow. The worst was when someone had suggested he take her to the local family fun joint. They played miniature golf and he felt like a big oafish idiot, but she'd loved every minute of it. It was worse when they went back, she wanted to play the games, video deals and such. He was sure he looked like some mean old Daddy taking his daughter out for playtime.

And there was the thing he was really missing, sack time. They'd kissed, shit he'd never kissed anyone so much, and she let him touch her breast, rub on it just a little, but only through her blouse. And there was her bottom, she let him grab hold and pull her into him as they kissed, and he knew she had to know how she affected him. That hard bulge wouldn't hide. But that was as far as things had gone.

The problem for Merle was he had a hunger that just wasn't going to be satisfied until Honey gave in, but Honey didn't seem inclined. He could have gone elsewhere for that, he knew a couple of gals he could pay a booty call on no problem, except that wasn't the action he wanted. He wanted that action with sweet Beth Greene. And yeah, he knew how to take care of himself but that only satisfies a man for so long. It wasn't the same. He wanted a woman and the woman he wanted just wasn't quite ready.

It had gotten to the point where every time they had a date he'd decide before he ever left the house, this was their last date. He just couldn't handle it anymore. He was out of plans and out of patience, he'd have to just tell her he was moving on. He'd be full of resolve, until she'd come down the stairs and he'd look in those blue eyes and he'd figure what the fuck, he could hold out a little longer. It just wasn't getting easier, not at all.

And something else was happening to him, it felt emotional, it wasn't like anything he'd ever been through, he cared for her so much that in a way it scared him. Oddly it even hurt a little. Besides the physical need and desire for her, it was almost like a yearning he had just to be near her. He'd never had the experience of just genuinely liking a woman, enjoying her company, the conversations and the this's and that's of everyday life, of wanting to be with her in every way and at all times.

And his young little Honey went a lot deeper than he'd first realized. There was so much more to her than the looks, the sweetness, the innocence. She was funny, clever and talented. The first time she sang for him he was mesmerized. It was so sweetly pure and so perfect. He could have watched and listened all night long. He found that each time he was with her he'd ask her to please just sing him at least one little song.

Well-read, that was the other thing. All those years staying away from guys his sweet girl had been reading. Not that he was any kind of literary guy, he was more of a Louis L'Amour type than a John Steinbeck type. But damn, when they were up in the meadow, him laying with his head in her lap while she stroked his hair and told him the story of the Grapes of Wrath, he didn't think he'd ever enjoyed an afternoon more.

Not until one day when they were out fishing in the boat. Truth of the matter was, he was fishing, she'd mostly been taking in the scenery, playing a hand in the cool water, and just appreciating being out on the lake and the beauty of the day. She opened the small basket she had their lunch packed in and pulled out a well-worn book, a journal. It was thin and a little dogeared, she must have had it a long time and used it often. While he fished she read him poems and verses she'd written. He'd never been so moved, it was all so new to him, all these feelings. He wasn't sure he cared at all for just how much she made him feel. He just knew he never wanted to stop listening to her voice reading the words she'd written.

Yeah, he was in deep, real deep and he knew it. She'd changed his life and it had only been two months. There was no getting out now. Even if she dumped his worthless ass that very day, she was never going to be out of his thoughts or out of his heart.

* * *

She wanted to, she wanted to give in to him. She never thought she'd feel that way about a man, that sex would be something she'd desire this way. But Merle Dixon was everything to her. Yet everything about him seemed so wrong. At first glance he was everything she never thought she'd want in a man, big and rough. But now she knew him, yes, he was a big rough man, but he was always so gentle with her, he always had a soft touch and a tender word. He worried about her and cared for her, but not as though she was a child, it wasn't like that at all. The way Merle cared for her was the way you care for something or someone you cherish.

He spoke like a backwoods country boy, in fact that was just what he was. But she knew, if you judged him by his grammar and his accent you'd be mistaken about the man he was. Your prejudice would cause you to underestimate just how smart he was, but she knew. He was clever and funny and he knew how to do so many things, she'd never known anyone so self-sufficient. And still he had a huge interest in learning new things.

She loved that he loved the stories she told him. What meant the most though was when she'd taken that chance and she'd read him her poetry, the look in his eyes as he watched and listened warmed her all over, and when he kissed her and told her she had the most beautiful heart he'd ever known; she didn't know if anything could mean more to her than that.

Two things had been holding her back from intimacy with Merle. The way she'd been raised was a huge part of it. She was a good girl, she always had been. And she believed in saving herself for marriage, for her one true love. The other was, Merle had yet to tell her he loved her. Two months seemed long enough for a person to know if they were in love. She was sure of that because she knew. She loved him. Should she wait to tell him though? Shouldn't he go first? Those were the thoughts so often on her mind, especially when they were together or late at night when she lay in her bed thinking about him.

* * *

It was official, he was out of ideas. Since she was as big a part of this as him he decided to put it in her capable hands. "Ya got anythin' special you'd like ta do this weekend Honey? I just can't come up with anythin'."

She smiled that high voltage smile at him as she answered, "Well as a matter of fact I do. I was thinking it would be really nice and really fun if you cooked me dinner at your house. I haven't even seen your place yet and I'd love to."

"Well it ain't nuthin' fancy an I sure ain't a gourmet cook, but that sounds perfect. Better make that a Saturday date. Friday I'll take ya out for burgers an then over ta the bowlin' alley. They got a backroom that's all pool tables, I'll show ya how ta play pool. Howz that sound?"

"Gosh I don't know anything about that game but you've taught me so many new things Merle, and yes that sounds like a lot of fun."

She didn't do too bad with pool, in fact he was pleasantly surprised. She had a good eye and she must have done well in geometry, shooting those angles just seemed to come naturally to her.

He thought he kept a pretty tidy house but Saturday morning he spruced it up extra. When he went shopping he even bought some flowers for the dining room table. It was when he got them home and was putting them in a big Mason jar that it struck him again. This was so unlike the man he was. Just what the hell was wrong with him? Who the fuck was this new Merle Dixon? And then he realized it, it hit him like a lightning bolt, he was in love with her.

Now what?

He had no fucking idea that was what. So for the moment he did what he'd said he would do, cooked a meal for her. It wasn't easy to concentrate on what he was doing. Now that he'd become so suddenly self-aware he felt nervous clear down to the pit of his stomach. He'd lost something big when this happened to him, he'd lost control. Sure he'd joked around about her being in charge plenty of times, to himself and out loud. But this realization, well it sealed the deal. She really was in the driver's seat.

He had to sit down for a minute and think about things. This was all new to him and he wasn't sure where a guy puts these kinds of feelings for a woman, what was he supposed to do next?

He had no idea so he just did what he needed to do for now. He finished making the potato casserole, got the corn husked and went in to shower up. And he worried. Why was he so worried?

He was picking her up early, five o'clock. He didn't want to just rush into the meal when she got there, he had other plans.

Her Daddy and Mama had lightened up a lot but he was pretty sure they still wished he'd fall off the edge of the earth, but they were making an effort. They were pleasant and cordial and he was grateful for that. He'd never expected them to be happy about him coming around for their daughter. His best hope had always just been that they could all keep it civil.

He forgot all that worry he'd been having over his feelings when he watched her come walking down those stairs. She was so sweet-faced but now that he knew her, he knew just how deep that sweetness went. He never knew a person could have a heart as pure and sweet as Beth Greene's heart. "Hi there Beth, ya sure do look nice tonight."

"Thank you, Merle, you look very nice yourself." She grabbed a little bag off the dining room table and smiled, "I made something for us."

No sooner were those words off her tongue than her Mama threw him nearly off balance. "Merle if you're able to we want you to come by tomorrow for Sunday dinner. We'd like you to meet the rest of our family. We eat about one-thirty but you're welcome to come any time after noon. We'll be home from church by then."

He'd been caught completely by surprise with that. Sunday dinner with the family, the whole fucking family? His naturally suspicious mind right away went to the notion they were setting him up for something. Were they going to have some kind of intervention? Would all of them team up on him and tell him to stay away from pure, sweet Beth? Who the fuck knew? What he did know was this was huge, and a big, big change, "Why I thank ya Ma'am, that sounds real, real nice an I look forward to it an ta meetin' everyone."

He helped her in the pickup and when she got in she squeezed his arm with both hands while she practically squealed, "Oh my gosh Merle, I'm so excited! Mama asked you to Sunday dinner! That's a very big thing for us, it's like you're family!"

Whoa, family? Wait, two months in and he's family? Shit, these people move fast, but then dammit, hadn't he fallen in love pretty damn fast? Besides, maybe she was making more of this than there really was to it.

* * *

Maybe he shouldn't have done it, maybe it was all wrong. But it seemed like fun and not a bad idea when he thought of it, and anyway, now it was done, no undoing it. Besides, if he thought too much, really got honest with himself he'd maybe have to admit he'd done it on purpose. He didn't really feel like feeling guilty.

What he did was he got her a little drunk. Not wasted, just feeling mellow, a little fuzzy, a little ready to let him love on her maybe just a bit more than she'd been willing to before. Was it an asshole move? Was he taking advantage? Well yeah, but then shit, it was justifiable because he loved her. That made it okay right? That's what he tried telling himself.

They'd gotten back to his place and he told her, "I got ya a little sumthin' Honey, I thought maybe you'd like ta try havin' a drink."

"A drink of what?" She smiled that pretty little smile and he almost, almost had second thoughts.

"A little glass a wine. I's gonna make it up special just for you." He smiled his big open and friendly 'not a thing to worry about' smile at her.

"Um, well I've never had a drink, I suppose just one wouldn't hurt."

"That's right Honey, one won't hurt." He figured one would probably be more than enough for her.

He put ice in a tall water glass and filled it about a quarter full with peach nectar, then he poured it the rest of the way with Prosecco, topping it off with a cherry and just a bit of the juice from the jar. Why the hell not?

"This tastes pretty good, I didn't expect wine to be fizzy."

"Well most ain't but some is." He was nursing a bourbon rocks and held his glass up in a toast to her, "Here's to the prettiest woman I know, inside and out."

She blushed as she took another sip. "What are you making for dinner Merle?"

"Well I know ya ain't a big red meat eater so I's gonna grill up some chicken, an I made potato casserole and I'ma grill some corn on the cob. Sound okay?"

"Yes, and I brought you dessert, it's in that little bag." She was dessert as far as he was concerned.

"Oh yeah, just for me huh? What is it?" He knew exactly who it was for and it wasn't him.

"Well just in case you want to give my baking a try, I brought us each a chocolate cupcake."

"Ya know, I been thinkin' ta give your bakin' a try. Tonight will be the perfect night for that." He could see by her eyes she was feeling the wine, shit she'd almost drunk it all already.

He set his glass on the counter, then took hers from her hand, "Goes down easy, don't it?"

"Yes, I like it but I think I maybe did drink too fast, I'm feeling kind of strange, maybe a little wobbly." With that he clasped his big hands onto her hips and he lifted her up and set her on the kitchen counter. Right next to the drinks.

He didn't need any more to drink himself, he needed her. They were looking in each other's eyes and she was giggling, he'd caught her by surprise lifting her up that way. His hand went to the back of her head where his fingers wove tightly into her hair as he brought her lips to his. Her giggling stopped.

She didn't fight it, not at all, to the contrary, a little moan came from somewhere deep inside her while her arms went around his neck and her tongue roamed his mouth.

He pulled her closer and she wrapped her legs around him while her hand went to his head and her fingers played and tugged at his curls. He was surprised, turned on and encouraged.

Sometimes a man just has to take a chance and he did. He slipped his hands up under her little shirt and pulled it up to just under her bra. He moved his face to her stomach and began to suck at the white tender flesh. She tensed for just a moment, but then she moaned a humming kind of sound. One hand slid up her back just a little and he rubbed softly at the delicate skin, slowly working that hand around until it reached the cup of her bra.

She tensed again, but again it was just for a moment. Then he slipped the shirt up and over her head. He stared into her eyes while his hands moved to her back and he unclasped the bra. She seemed to be trembling just a little and he stopped before he removed it, asking her, "Ya okay Honey?"

"I'm, I'm, I, yes, I think so, just nervous."

"Please don't be Honey. I got no aim ta hurt ya." And the bra was gone. He looked at her small breasts and smiled, looking back into her eyes, "They're perfect Honey, just like you."

She could feel her face had turned red but she loved hearing the words he spoke. She'd been so self-conscious her body wouldn't be "womanly" enough for him.

He bent down then, giving each pink nipple a tender little kiss. Then his big hands slipped under her bottom and he picked her up off the counter. She kept her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. She had a good idea where he was taking her and she was kind of scared, she was also very curious and full of desire for the big rough man.

He was gentle as he lay her down on the bed and he watched as in her modesty she placed a hand over each breast, while he stood above her and pulled the snaps open on his shirt, tossing it aside. Then his fingers wrapped around her wrists as he lifted her hands up and off her breasts, kissing her palms as he did. "Please don't hide from me, you're beautiful Beth."

Her eyes never left his but she didn't say a word, she just nodded her head and he laid himself down next to her. He kissed her and she did respond and her hand was on his arm, squeezing at his bicep when his mouth engulfed her breast. He was surprised in the most pleasant way possible by how she seemed to be enjoying all this. They'd barely gotten started and her back was already arching and when his fingers started nipping and squeezing her other breast, her hips rose up just a little off the bed.

He took another chance, reaching his hand down and sliding it up under her skirt, then slowly letting it glide up the silky skin of her thigh. Her voice sounded so different, guttural and breathless as she said, "Wait, Merle, wait."

She didn't have to tell him twice, his hand froze where it was and his mouth was off her breast as he searched her eyes, "Honey, ya want me ta stop? I will."

"I don't know. Do you love me Merle?"

"A course I love ya Honey. An there ain't no one else I want this with, just you Beth, just you."

"Okay."

But he knew then, the guilt took over. Guilt for hell sake, when did he start feeling this guilt creep in on him all the time? Never that's when, not until her. But he didn't give it up, nah he was going to at the very least let her see what it was like to let a man bring her pleasure. It had been so clear by her response to his touch that she was ready for this. But for himself, well there would be another day because, dammit, he cared too much to take it from her like this.

Again his mouth found her breast and his hand was on her thigh, he teased her, barely touching the outside of her panties. They were wet and that made him smile to himself. Yeah, his little Honey was ready. But he just teased at it, played with her until he brought her there and when she came and she kind of squealed out, "Oh Merle oh, oh…" Well, even though he hadn't gotten his nut it brought him a whole new world of happiness and satisfaction.

He kissed her lips, "Feel good Honey? Did ya like that feelin'?"

Her cheeks were already flushed but the color grew deeper as she breathed out, "Yes, it was, it was wonderful Merle. I didn't know all that would feel so good."

"Well I'm glad it did."

Her small hand went to his cheek and she whispered, "I love you too Merle, so much."

He felt overwhelmed by her words, no one had ever said that to him. He pulled her close to him and it was just a minute or two and she was out. He smiled to himself, shit, it was a start and he was happy with the way it all had gone. He'd realized when the time came, when he took her fully he wanted her to be clear and present. He didn't want her to let him love her because her defenses were down. Shit, since when did he worry about that kind of bullshit?

He carefully got up from the bed, covered her and went in the bathroom. He'd wake her up when dinner was ready. In the meantime, he needed to take care of himself and he did, then he washed up and put that shirt back on.

00

 **A/N Gee, Merle did act a little bit honorable, now didn't he? I hope you enjoyed it and that you'll leave a comment / review. The chapter photo is posted on both my tumblr blogs, gneebee and bethylmethbrick. Thanks so much and I hope to see you all back here next Thursday for more of The Sacrifice. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you everyone! When we left off Merle had stopped short of crossing the line and he was letting Beth have a little nap before dinner. We pick up right there.**

00

He was grilling the chicken but that wasn't where his mind was. His mind was on the pretty blond curled up and sound asleep in his bed. He'd told her he loved her and his only regret now was that it hadn't been in a more romantic way. But he'd said it and it was true and maybe the most amazing thing was, she'd said it back.

He was still blown away. He didn't think he was all that lovable so to think that a woman like her, someone as special as Beth could say she felt those things for him was steps beyond his comprehension. Again he wondered, now what? He supposed it meant they were solid, committed and they'd continue with the way they'd been doing things. Spending their time together, getting to know each other even better and maybe someday it would lead to that physical thing he craved with her so badly.

He wasn't going to push it though, he knew that now. He loved her and he'd wait as long as she needed to wait. He just hoped it wasn't too long.

Dinner was done and he went back in the bedroom for her. He looked down on her laying there in his bed and she looked so peaceful. She lay on her side, blond curls all over his pillow and breathing softly. He wanted to lay with her. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her. Not just for the sexual stuff. He wanted that but he wanted more, it was all of her he yearned for. He wanted to hold her close and feel her small body next to his.

He got down on his knees next to the bed and he laid his hand softly on her hair. She was so peaceful looking, so serene. He was sure he'd never slept like that, so calm and so still. It was the kind of sleep that only came to those with a clear conscience and a pure heart.

He began to lightly run his fingers through her hair while never taking his eyes from her pretty face. He'd never taken the time to wake another person in a gentle way. If it had been Daryl or one of his running buddies he'd have kick them and said, "get your ass up." He couldn't imagine ever being anything but gentle with her.

"Honey? Time ta try an wake up Honey. You're supper's ready. C'mon now."

Her eyes slowly opened and she seemed startled for just a fast moment. Then she moved quickly, wrapping her arm around his neck while pulling her head up and off the pillow. They were cheek to cheek when she asked, "Did you mean it Merle? Are we in love?"

Her question made him smile and he wanted to see her, he wanted to look in her eyes. He pulled away just enough to clasp her face in his hands, "Beth, I ain't never told any woman that but you. I do love ya. At first I wasn't even sure what it was I's feelin'. I didn't know what in the hell had come over me. I guess I'm slow. But now I know for sure."

"I love you Merle. I love you." He had to kiss her then but it wasn't wanton. He'd gotten her half drunk and he had to be responsible, he had to make sure she ate. He couldn't remember ever worrying about another person like he worried over her.

He moved away a little sitting back on his heels and it was like she suddenly remembered or realized she was half naked. She lifted the cover just enough to peek and her face turned that strawberry color. He quickly rose telling her, "I'll give ya your privacy." Shit, things were so different, he was barely himself. He was becoming more and more aware of the power this love had over him.

She took a while and when she walked in the kitchen he knew why. Her hair was fixed, her makeup fixed and of course she was fully dressed. "Ya look real pretty Beth, ya hungry?"

"Well kind of but I have a little headache."

He felt that thing again, that guilt thing. "Well some dinner and plenty of water, maybe a Tylenol if ya want one, all that oughta help. It's my fault I shoulda never given ya that wine. I'm sorry."

She reached for his hand, "Well don't be sorry Merle. I wanted to try it and I liked it a lot. I think that's what happened. I should have taken it a lot more slowly and I should have eaten better today."

"Yeah well I'm sorry about everythin' else that happened too. I shouldn't a took advantage of ya when you'd been drinking." He was sure he'd told her he was sorry more times this evening than he'd ever said it to anyone in his entire life.

Her pretty face turned pink again, "Merle Dixon you stop that. I probably wouldn't have been so willing without the alcohol but it was also something I wanted. I'd been wanting that stuff with you for a long time." She took a deep breath then as the color in her face deepened and she cast her eyes down for just a moment, "I want to have all of that with you Merle. I want it very much and I want it soon."

Again her words caught him off balance. He hadn't expected such a declaration from her. Now it was him squeezing her hand, "Like I said, your call. I'll be as patient as ya need me ta be." He meant that but he also hoped to God she'd decide she wanted him soon.

He'd told her earlier he was going to try that cupcake and he was actually looking forward to it now. She'd been so happy when he said he would and he wondered why he'd been such a big asshole. Why hadn't he asked to try her baking before? Just because sweets weren't his thing that was no excuse. She was his thing and he should have done it for her.

She took the cupcakes out of the bag and he was a little surprised. They weren't at all like the baked goods sold at the grocery. The only way he could think to describe them was beautiful and decadent looking, like they were almost too good. It seemed kind of wrong to even bite into one of them.

He watched her take a bite of hers and the way her smile grew and the way she licked her lips, it was damn near sexual. He swore he could watch that woman eat cupcakes all day long.

Then he took a bite of his and he was surprised again. He was a man who didn't care at all for sweets and he couldn't believe how delicious he found it. It had a melt in your mouth velvety texture. But it was the center that really brought the goodness. It was something that seemed almost like a thicker version of pudding, and the sweet dark chocolate seemed luscious and sensual, just like her.

"I apologize right here and now for not tryin' your bakin' sooner Honey. That's incredible stuff right there. I been missin' out. I sure never had anythin' that come close ta that. I don't know much about these things but it don't seem ta me ya need any kind of bakin' school. It seems ta me you're ready ta do whatever ya want."

00

He showed up for Sunday dinner promptly at noon. In his life he'd been in a million awkward situations and even more major predicaments, but never had he felt so nervous.

He'd made a decision on that very first date that he'd do his best to get along with her folks. Now that idea carried a lot more weight for him. As much as he cared about her and knew he wanted to keep her in his life for as far ahead as he could see, he knew it was important to try and have some kind of solid relationship with her family. So as much as he wasn't look forward to it he'd made up his mind he'd have a heart to heart with her Daddy.

He knocked on the big front door and it was almost immediate that she opened it. As much as he loved feeling her arms around him, when she threw those arms around his waist and hugged him hard saying, "Oh Merle I'm so happy you're here," he was uncomfortable. Her Daddy was standing right behind her and he could see by the look on the man's face he wasn't one bit pleased.

He ever so lightly placed an open palm on her back. "Thank ya Beth, I appreciate bein' invited here today." He nodded toward her Daddy, "Mr. Greene Thanks for havin' me." And as uncomfortable as he felt he also didn't want to pull away from her. But he did as he reached to shake her Daddy's hand.

"Son." Was all the man replied.

He'd told Beth he planned on this talk and so he dove right in, "Sir, if ya would grant me a little private time I think it'd be good if you an me was ta have us a talk."

Her Daddy's brows shot up and Merle didn't understand exactly why. He found out when they went in Greene's office to chat. "I'll tell you right now son, it seems way too soon to talk to me about marrying my daughter."

Merle just gave a slight nod of the head, not knowing how he felt about that. He sure hadn't expected it. Marriage? He thought it best to not dwell there, to just move on. The man hadn't even asked him to have a seat and it probably wasn't coming. "That ain't why I'm here. I'm tryin' ta clear the air is all. I know ya don't like the idea a me datin' your daughter. I get why too. There's a lotta good reasons ya wouldn't. My family has a bad reputation, I'm so much older than her. I ain't polished an I done my share a stuff I shouldn't a done. I ain't denyin' any a that or tryin' ta gloss it over. But sir, I'ma tell ya now I love your daughter. I put her in charge, she's the one who calls the shots. I ain't pushin' her for nuthin' she don't want."

"I admit an I know ya know, I had my wild days but these days are different. These days my nose is clean an my attitude is straight. I been at my job nine years. I'm in it for real an for the long haul, just like I am with your daughter. I'm ain't asking ya ta like me, what I'm askin' is can we work toward sumthin' just a little less strained and a little more friendly?"

Hershel looked down, brow furrowed and nodding his head slightly. "You're right Merle. I shouldn't judge you based on your past or your family history. Beth is our youngest child and I know her mother and I can be overly protective. I also think you have a very good understanding of why we've been apprehensive about this relationship from the start. But I'll try harder and I'll talk to her mother, and all of us will hope for the best. That's all I can promise right now."

"That's all I ask. I expect ta have ta prove myself. I will. You'll see."

He'd hoped by some stroke of luck they'd seat him next to her but he wasn't surprised when they didn't. At least they were right across the table from each other, he could still look at his Honey.

He also wasn't one bit surprised when they bowed their heads and her Daddy prayed a blessing before the meal, he'd expected it. He knew the kinds of folks they were. And the meal was also everything he'd expected. It was served family style and consisted of all kinds of traditional southern favorites. He had no complaints about that.

He did notice her Mama looking at her with something that seemed like concern. He couldn't figure out why she would have any concern right now. But she kept casting those side glances at Beth and once he even saw her shake her head just ever so slightly.

Merle would never know what Annette Greene was thinking, although in truth he'd never give it another thought once the meal was over.

Her Mama had seen something in her daughter's eyes when Beth looked at Merle Dixon. It had given her a start. She wasn't prepared for it. Maybe she should have been. Sure, if she was being realistic she probably would have been. But sometimes a parent just doesn't want to think about these things.

What she saw in her daughter's eyes that Sunday afternoon was desire. Desire for that big rough man seated across from her. It shook her to think of her baby girl having those feelings for a man, any man. But this man, was he really going to turn out to be the good man they were hoping against hope he was? She'd pray extra hard. And later that evening she'd remind her daughter once again, she was a good girl.

That day he met her sister for the first time and marveled to himself just how different she was from Beth. She seemed like much more of a free spirit, like a young woman who'd experienced quite a bit more in life than his sweet Beth had. And talkative, she was talkative and that talk came with a heavy dose of sass.

She and her fiancé seemed a world apart and not just because he was Asian. He was far more quiet and reserved, but he also had a quick smile and a clever wit and Merle liked him right away.

He found out the sister, Maggie, was in her third year of college, and her fiancé Glenn was in the master's program. She was studying to be a teacher and Glenn was in some kind of technology program.

Merle wasn't a big one for playing on his phone but he was pretty interested hearing about what Glenn did in his free time. He'd designed a couple of different apps and he was shopping them around, hoping to score big. "All I have to do is come up with the next Facebook and Maggie and I will be living high on the hog."

He knew Beth had a brother, Shawn was his name. He was in school down in New Orleans and only came home on rare occasions because he was also doing an internship there.

Merle felt like all and all the Sunday dinner thing didn't go too bad. Beth had been a little bundle of nerves when he'd gone in the office to chat with her Daddy, but she seemed happy and calm by the time the meal was over.

They went for a little ride later after helping with dishes and visiting some. Not on his bike. He'd thought it was a better idea to bring the truck. He didn't drive far before he pulled off to the side. He'd been wanting to kiss her all day and he'd waited long enough. The kissing started and it was hot and heavy right from the beginning. He was feeling it and when she made that soft moaning sound he knew she was feeling it too. As those feelings of want grew he acted on them. He never wanted the kissing to end and so without ever moving his lips from hers his fingers quickly began unbuttoning her blouse. His hand slipped inside the fabric fondling her breast.

He expected her to tell him to stop and he would have. But she didn't tell him anything of the kind and soon his mouth was on her pretty little pink breast and she was tugging at his curls, moaning more and whispering his name. How could this innocent woman get him so turned on just by saying his name? His hand moved to her leg, slowly making its way under her skirt and sliding up her thigh, when he heard a vehicle approaching.

He shielded her body from view while she hurriedly buttoned up. "Sorry Honey. I shouldn't be doing that stuff out here in the truck. I ain't a damn teenager."

"Don't apologize. I wanted you to and I liked it Merle." Her words were not helping him regain control and he quickly tried to adjust himself and his pants.

He was surprised when the vehicle screeched to a halt behind his truck and Glenn jumped out, rushing to Merle's window. "You gotta come back, there's been a terrible accident. The ambulance is on its way. Hurry."

The kid was back in his truck and screaming into a uey before Merle could digest what he'd said.

They didn't even know what had happened yet and Beth was already softly crying as Merle pulled a uey himself. He took her hand and squeezing it gently he tried to sound reassuring, "C'mon now Honey, we don't even know what's wrong yet. Maybe it ain't no big deal." Those were the words he spoke but he didn't believe them.

They got back to the farm and saw Annette Greene was a crying hard, her daughter Maggie was crying too but she had her arms around the woman, trying to comfort her. "I just know Daddy will be alright Mama, he has to be alright."

There was a old lawn tractor in the yard and Hershel Greene lay on his back near it. A stocky fellow looked to be applying pressure to his leg, and a woman tugged at a tourniquet as if she were trying to pull it tighter. Merle would later know them as the neighbors, Otis and Patricia.

He had his arm around Beth's waist and he felt her start to slip, like she may faint. "C'mon now Honey. Ya sit up here on the porch with your sister and your Mama an lemme see if I can't help your Daddy. Ya stay right here now."

He sat her down in a chair next to her Mama and hurried over to where the others were. That's when he saw how bad it was.

Apparently Hershel had decided out of the blue that he needed fresh air and wanted time alone to think. For some reason he thought the way to do that was to go out and cut the grass. He'd gotten on the old lawn tractor, just like he had a thousand times before. This time that right front tire had hit some wet soft ground followed by large protruding rock. Hershel over-corrected. The old thing was unstable and it tipped over, taking Hershel with it and pinning his leg to the ground.

It was fortunate that just as the accident occurred those neighbors had pulled in the driveway. They rushed to help and between them, Glenn and Maggie they were able to lift the tractor off the older man.

Glenn called 9-1-1 and they were doing everything they could to stop the bleeding until help arrived.

They heard the paramedics coming from a long way off. When they had her Daddy in the ambulance and her Mama in there with him, Maggie and Glenn followed in their car, and Merle and Beth followed in his truck to the hospital.

Over the next few weeks Merle Dixon would get his opportunity to prove the caliber of man he was.

00

 **A/N If you don't think an old lawn tractor will tip over, well I can tell you they will. Not pretty. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. In spite of the accident at the end I think our couple made some forward strides in their relationship. A great big shout out to Athlete Girl who sent me a PM about an idea for Mama seeing "the look" in Beth's eyes when she looks at Merle. Thanks so much for reading along and I'd appreciate you leaving a comment / review. The chapter photo is posted to my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick - please check that out. I hope to see you all back here next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Thank you all so much, I appreciate you reading along, following and favoring, and I always enjoy reading your comments.**

 **We're picking up where we left off, just after Hershel's injury.**

00

He should be worrying about Hershel Greene and how he was doing, and he sure didn't wish the old boy anything but the best. But he was single minded, all he really cared about right now was how this was affecting Honey, and Honey wasn't doing real swell.

He had his arm around her shoulders and she was tucked up close into his side and he could feel the little trembles in her body. He knew she was still crying. "C'mon now Honey, everythin's gonna be just fine. The docs are gonna take real good care a your Daddy and he'll be healed up and back home before ya know it. Just wait an see, it'll all be just fine." And he hoped like hell it was because her sadness was killing him.

Truth was the old man was in piss poor shape. They hadn't even been able to take him into surgery right away. First they'd had to get him stable and that had been a struggle, but it seemed the time was real close and they'd be taking him back soon.

They'd opted to try and save the leg even though it looked pretty well crushed. There were a few other injuries to be addressed and of course the loss of blood, and just the magnitude of the trauma to an elderly body was taking it's toll.

The preacher from the Greene's church was there praying with Beth's Mama and the neighbor lady. Glenn had his arm around Maggie and her head was on his shoulder, and Otis he looked like he felt like he ought to be doing something, but there was just nothing to be done. It was in the doc's hands. Or as these good folks believed, God's hands.

It was getting on to midnight by the time Hershel Greene was back out of surgery and the family members were allowed to go in and see him, just for a moment. Just long enough to put their minds at ease that he was still alive and resting comfortably.

Merle hadn't planned to go in the room with her, it wasn't that he wasn't willing he just didn't think it was his place, but she insisted. "I need you with me." That was all she had to say to him. "Sure Honey."

The old man did seem to be resting well and the blood they'd given him had pinked up his cheeks. Beth laid her hand on his, told him to please get better quickly and come home to his family. Merle almost doubted himself again, was he a good enough man for this? They were all such upright folks. But he wasn't turning back now. Not now.

After the visit to the room Merle insisted, not just with Beth but with her whole family, "Y'all need ta get on home now an rest. Ya ain't gonna do him no good just hangin' around here an wearin' yourselves out. C'mon now, tomorrow's another day. I gotta get up an get ta work myself an ya'll are gonna wanna be back here early ta visit."

It was probably the naturally stern quality of his voice and the way he carried himself, it spoke of authority. Those things combined with the fact they were all exhausted both physically and emotionally, they didn't fight him.

She could have ridden back out to the farm with her sister and Glenn or Otis and Patricia, but no, Merle was taking her. She leaned against his shoulder on the drive and it was hard for him not to pull over and just hold her. He wanted to give her some kind of comfort, he wanted to do something to bring back that pretty smile. But yes, what they needed most right now was rest.

"Ya call your boss in the mornin' an ya tell him ya gotta lay out for the day. He'll understand."

"What about you Merle? You're as tired as I am and your day starts so early."

"Ya don't need ta waste any worry on me. I'll be just fine. I had my years a stayin' out late an carryin' on, I'm all broke in for this."

Hershel Greene spent ten days in the hospital and when they finally did send him home he was still going to be laid up a good long time. It would be a slow process of physical therapy getting him fully back on his feet and mobile. He'd never be 100%, there had been just too much damage to his leg. But he'd still be getting around, still be living with his family, still able to do most of the things he'd always done.

In the meantime it was a busy time at the farm with the spring planting due to begin. Otis and Patricia would do what they could to help, but they had their own farming operation to think about. Glenn was available on weekends but school was more than a three hour round trip.

Merle didn't know much about farming but what he did know about was hard work. He was big and strong and he had a powerful incentive. He wanted to help them because of her.

Except for the two nights a week he went to school he was there every day straight from work, and he worked there until the sun went down. Her Mama would feed him supper and he'd hurry home to get cleaned up and hit the sack. His days were long and he was lacking sleep. He didn't complain, this was his choice.

Members of the Greene family, including Hershel Greene, hadn't missed the tremendous effort and care Merle Dixon had put out. In spite of all his previous concerns and negativity Hershel Greene found himself feeling not just gratitude toward the man, but a kind of admiration as well. He'd stepped up to the plate and proven to them the man he was.

"Son I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for my family. I don't know what would have happened around here if you hadn't been so willing to give so much of your time and your hard work."

The words Merle Dixon spoke were the simple truth, "I'm glad I could pitch in an help, but I think ya know there's only one person I really done this for. I hope ya see it now, I do love your daughter."

She was so sweet to him through it all. The combination of how she worried over him and her sweetness warmed his heart. He couldn't recall anyone ever worrying over him. And every night she sent him home with, "A little something for your lunch tomorrow Merle." It was always some delicious creation she'd baked and he found he'd developed a taste for those things. He might have worried he'd put on weight if he hadn't been busting his ass like he was.

Alone time. That was what was hard to come by. That was what made all this a real drag on him. He needed alone time with Honey. After the first week he set down a plan and they followed it. Saturday evenings were theirs and they didn't spend them at the farm.

It had only been a couple of weeks since they'd had that alone time but it felt like so much longer. Those evening strolls to nowhere in particular now seemed far more enjoyable than they had before her Daddy's accident. He'd needed this. He needed to just be out in the evening air with her by his side and his arm around her slim waist. He hadn't even realized how much he missed their little conversations about nothing special, just talk. He'd missed the smell of her, the feel of her, her smile and her laughter.

It was the seventh Saturday after her old man's accident. Hershel Greene used a cane these days but he was getting around the house pretty good, and he was doing some of the less physically taxing chores around the farm. Feeding the chickens and gathering eggs, watering the stock and working in the vegetable garden. Doing a bit, but not too much.

And that was the Saturday morning she'd completely shocked Merle Dixon. She sought him out and found him in the west pasture mending fence. He smiled broadly as she approached him, "Hey there Honey, what brings ya out here?"

"You Merle, you're why I'm here. I have an idea about what I'd like to do tonight."

"Anythin' ya want Honey." He continued smiling that big and very unsuspecting smile.

She smiled back and hers was a smile that seemed quite shy, while at the same time a bit sexy and flirtatious, "Can we not go out anywhere, can we just go to your house? Maybe I could have one small glass of wine and we could just have a simple dinner, and maybe you'd take me to bed and make love to me."

He wondered if his jaw had dropped because it seemed like it should have. It wasn't like he'd never had a woman come on to him, hell women had their needs and wants the same as men. It was just of all the women he'd ever known Beth Greene was the last woman he expected to have approach him in this way.

He knew he was looking hard in her eyes but she was looking right back, undaunted. He wasn't trying to stare her down he was trying to process what she'd said to him. "If I wasn't all dirty an sweaty right now I'd take ya in my arms an I'd hold ya close, an I'd ask ya, Honey are ya sure?"

She was so sweetly serious, "Do it anyway."

She didn't need to tell him again. He wrapped her up tight and held her close as he whispered in her ear, "Honey are ya sure?"

"I'm sure Merle, we've waited long enough."

 **Beth**

She'd heard a few stories here and there, little snippets about Merle Dixon long before she ever knew him. But since word had gotten around that she was seeing him it felt like folks just couldn't wait to tell her every awful thing they could think to tell.

She heard about his reputation with women and she heard about his trouble with drugs and a brush with the law. She'd heard about his and Daryl's father and the terrible life they'd led growing up.

She didn't need to hear about all those things, Merle had already shared everything with her in painful detail.

He'd told her all about the horror that he, Daryl and their mother had lived. She didn't say it to him but she felt happy his father had died, happy Merle and Daryl never had to set eyes on that man again. And she felt sorry to hear about their mother especially when she saw the look in Merle's eyes when he told her the story.

They didn't need to tell her about the way he'd been with women, Merle had already told her. He didn't share intimate details but she knew all she needed to know. He'd never been in it for the love. For him it had only been about having a little fun and getting his physical satisfaction. He admitted he used women and that women used him.

No one had to tell her about the drugs either. He'd been real honest about that. How easy it was to get on them and the hell he'd gone through getting off them.

There was so much she wished she didn't know, but Merle had told her, "You get with me Honey and you're takin' on a man whose lived a life he's not all proud of. I made my share and more of mistakes an missteps. But I been on the straight from the drugs a long time. And Beth, with you I'm a different man, I am in love an I can't imagine myself ever havin' any desire for some other woman."

Everyone knew so much, everyone warned her, but she knew things about Merle that no one else knew. She knew about his tender heart and she knew how gentle the rough man could be, and she knew underneath that hard as steel exterior he had a vulnerability to him.

She knew firsthand that when things got tough, when life was hard, Merle Dixon didn't run. He stayed and did what had to be done whether it was his to do or not.

Mostly she knew beyond doubt that she loved Merle Dixon and that he loved her. She was ready and anxious to give herself to him fully and completely.

00

All the way to his place she sat as close to him as she could get. Her head was on his shoulder and her arm laid across her waist. He was driving with one hand while his other arm was wrapped around her shoulder.

They both had minds going a mile a minute anticipating what was to come. The air in the pickup cab held a mix of excitement, nerves, desire and love.

They walked in the front door and there was no thought of a glass of wine or dinner or anything but each other. His hands moved to cup her face and he kissed her with unrestrained passion and then picked her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

He set her down next to the bed and asked again, "You're sure Honey?"

She was so nervous but she wanted him, wanted this, she looked down so demurely, "Yes, I'll just go in the bathroom and get undressed."

She started to turn but he held a hand out to stop her, "No Honey, I can help ya get undressed. It's a present ya give me when ya let me look at ya, see every part of ya." His words made her blush but the warmth wasn't just on her cheeks.

Words wouldn't come, she just looked in his eyes and gave him a shy smile.

He smiled back keeping his eyes trained on hers as his hands reached behind her and pulled the band from her ponytail. He ran his fingers through her hair, loosening the curls and fluffing them out to lay on her shoulders. As he leaned back a little he told her, "You're always so beautiful ta me Honey, always."

He hadn't even really touched her yet and still she could feel her body tingle. She was almost embarrassed by how turned on she was.

He smiled as if he knew while he continued to run his fingers through her hair, and then his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her so deeply. It was warm and wet and almost intoxicating.

He felt her responding as she began to softly lean into him, and again he reached his hands behind her, this time slowly unzipping her dress. He drew his lips away and looked in her eyes, asking, "Ya okay with this Honey?"

Her own voice sounded rough and breathless to her as she barely got the word out, "Yes."

His lips were on her throat and he was kissing the warm tender skin, while his hands seemed to glide inside the fabric of her dress, slipping it off her shoulders. Again he leaned back while his hands began to lightly rub her shoulders and then her arms.

It was like her body didn't know how to react to the barely-there touching, she felt so warm and yet she felt a shiver go through her.

She barely had time to take a breath before he'd slipped the dress completely off. Shouldn't she feel embarrassed? She was standing in front of a man in nothing but her bra and panties? But it was the way he looked at her, like she was the best thing he'd ever seen. The way his hands went to her hips and he pulled her closer to him and told her, "Honey, ya got the sweetest little body I've ever seen. Everythin' about it is perfect."

She could feel her panties getting damper but it didn't feel bad. It felt exciting.

He bent down and removed her shoes before helping her step out of the dress and placing it on the bedside chair. Again he stood before her looking at her like he was drinking her in. And then his mouth was on the delicate curve of skin just above the cup of her bra.

He bit down but not hard enough to hurt, just hard enough to tease her, while a hand dipped in the back of her panties and he pulled her closer still. She felt herself gasp as with his other hand he popped her bra open. He looked at her, smiled and took the fabric of the cup between his teeth, pulling the bra off with this mouth and with a wave of his head it was tossed aside. His mouth covered a small breast, alternately sucking and nibbling and then letting his tongue flick at her tight little nipple.

He pulled back again and again his eyes never left hers. He was smiling as he quickly removed his shirt and pants. She didn't know what to think or what to expect when he dropped to his knees, then slowly he let his open palms skim lightly over the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, until one founds its way between her legs.

She thought maybe she should be embarrassed that her panties were wet, but she was just too excited and when he smiled up at her she knew, he was pleased at the way her body was reacting to his attentions.

He stood then, quickly picking her up as though she were as light as a feather and gently laying her on his bed. His hands slipped to the sides of her panties and they were off.

When he removed his briefs it was not just the first time she saw a naked man, it was also the first time she saw a very aroused man and she gasped aloud at the size of him. He ran a hand over her hair and in a hoarse whisper promised, "I ain't gonna hurt ya Honey." All she could do was nod.

The sight of the big man above her, the broad shoulders and the defined and muscular arms, the thick chest and tight abs she wanted to tell him. She swallowed hard and the words came out in ragged whisper, "Your body, your body is beautiful."

He just smiled as he went to the end of the bed, sliding that body toward her. His big arms wrapped around her upper legs and his mouth teased at that most sensitive area between her thighs. He wanted to smile as she tugged at his hair and groaned, "Oh Merle, Merle…" But he was busy.

He enjoyed it all, the scent of her and the taste of her, he could have stayed there enjoying it all night long, but he had so many things he wanted to do.

He slowly moved his body along hers, stopping often to kiss and suck at the warm skin that had become so flushed with desire. His hands were on her breasts, his fingers tweaking the nipples and her body was in motion, hips rising and back arching.

He was thrilled by her response to him. He'd satisfied many women but none meant what this meant to him. To be able to satisfy Beth, this woman that he loved so much, that meant everything.

He was kissing those firm pink nipples, biting just hard enough not cross over that line between pleasure and pain, and then lightly sucking a little as his hand went to that spot between her thighs and a finger slipped in. It was as though her body froze and he stopped the motion long enough to ask, "Are ya okay Honey? Ya still want this?" With his words he felt her tension ease and she whispered, "Please, yes, I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't ever be sorry Honey, never. Just remember I love ya, I never wanna hurt ya."

As his own hunger grew his mouth became more insistent and then another finger slipped inside her. She felt herself start to move in ways she'd never moved before. She wanted him. Her hips were thrusting as she sought his body out, and when his thumb massaged that little bump, that hyper sensitive spot, while his teeth lightly bit at her breast before his mouth engulfed it. It was all just too much and her body shook as he sent her over the edge and she called out, "Oh Merle, Merle, Merle."

She felt herself collapse as his face went to the curve of her neck and it was as if he were nuzzling into her, and then his lips were on her ear and she felt his warm breath as he whispered, "So good Honey, everythin' about ya is just so damn good." And he felt that one last shudder go through her body.

He had to, he just had to have a little taste of that and again her fingers tugged at his hair while he let himself enjoy this intimate moment. As he tasted her he felt that animalistic groan coming from deep in his chest.

He could feel it, she was becoming aroused again and he had more things to tend to. He raised up moving to his knees and resting back on his heels. He rubbed his hands along her inner thighs for a moment before opening the packet and slipping the condom on.

He leaned forward as his hand moved through her hair, "I'ma be real careful Honey, I don't wanna hurt ya, not ever. But there might be just a little a that. Ya let me know, I'll stop if ya want me to." It seemed like the right thing but he hoped it would be the last thing she wanted.

She was a little scared but she wanted this with him, she wanted Merle Dixon to make her a woman far more than she feared the pain. "I love you Merle."

His hand cupped her cheek, "I love ya more."

He leaned in kissing her with a palpable need and her need was just as great as her fingers wove into his curls and she whimpered as they kissed.

He slowly began to guide himself into her, trying to be so careful, so afraid to hurt her. She was startled when she first felt him and he could feel her body tense, "Okay Honey?"

"Okay."

He took his time and he was careful but he didn't stop again. She didn't ask and she was the only thing that could have stopped him. He felt that ripe little cherry and he pushed against it and she gasped loudly as he took her innocence.

His movements were slow, steady and he whispered, "Move with me Honey, feel it, feel me, feel us together."

She did as he asked and he was right, it was better. Her hands moved from his hair, gliding down to grip at his back and for the first time she felt the scarred skin. She gasped. She'd never realized. He froze, he knew just what she'd felt. "Sorry, I'll put a t-shirt on."

"No, no Merle I just didn't expect it. But I want to feel you, I want to feel your skin on me, I love you, I love everything that's a part of you."

Her words moved him, they went right to his heart. How could she be so perfect, so good? The emotion her words brought aroused him even more.

Their movements seemed to be in perfect sync, his mouth was again on her breast as he pumped into her and she responded. He wasn't sure how long he could hold out. He'd never waited for a woman like he'd waited for Beth.

He moved a hand between them to where their bodies were joined. While he moved inside her his finger found its way to the little nub and he whispered in her ear, "So damn good, so damn perfect Honey, cum for me, cum for me now."

The movement of their bodies, his touch, his words, she was all caught up in it, emotionally, physically and her body reacted as suddenly it was like every muscle she had tensed and then shook apart. The feeling was so exquisite, "Oh Merle, oh my gawd, oh my gawd."

And he was gone as he thrust into her calling her name, "Beth, Beth damn woman you're makin' me cum."

It was like he felt himself just crumble and without moving his lower body from hers, he slipped his upper body to the side, trying to keep his weight off while she caught her breath. "Okay Honey?"

"Perfect. Did I, you know, was it okay?"

"Aw girl it was wonderful. You're everythin' ta me Beth, you're everythin'."

He didn't want to leave her side but he had to take care of them. He kissed her as he rose from the bed. He hurried to the bathroom and took care of the condom, cleaned himself up and got a warm washcloth. He hurried back to the bed and taking the cloth he gently cleaned away the evidence of her lost virginity.

He took the cloth to the bathroom then hurried back to her as quickly as he could. He slid in as close as he could get, pulling the cover over her as he wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly. Soon they were both sleeping soundly.

00

 **A/N I hope you enjoyed this new level of intimacy and all that led to it. Thanks so much for reading along, I'd appreciate you leaving a comment / review. The chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, check it out if you're over there. I hope to see you all back next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Well I'd say our couple had a pretty good chapter last week :) Thanks everyone for reading, commenting and the follows and favors. This week we're picking up right back there in Merle's bed ;)**

00

Something was waking him and whatever it was he could feel himself fighting it. Maybe it was because he could feel her warm little body in his arms and he had no desire to let go. But the noise just wouldn't stop and he realized it was his phone. The ringing seemed a little muffled and he remembered the damn thing was still in his pants' pocket.

Whoever it was they weren't giving up. The ringing would stop for just a minute, then start right back up again. Finally he gave into it and as he slowly rolled over he saw the time on the beside clock, two a.m. That made him smile, damn they must have been tired. They'd worn each other out.

He hated to disturb her but whoever was calling obviously wasn't stopping until someone answered. He quietly slipped out of bed but she stirred. Her voice was a little low and raspy, to him it was sexy sounding as she whispered, "Merle?"

"Yeah Honey, sorry. Just some asshole keeps callin'. I'll get rid of 'em." He pulled the blanket up over her shoulder and went in search of the phone. When he saw the screen he said a silent, "Oh shit." It said, "Greene."

That cleared his head in a hurry, bringing him right back to reality. No wonder they hadn't given up, their girl didn't come home and he'd always gotten her home by midnight. They were probably worried and no doubt pissed off. So many changes had taken place in just one short night. He slid back under the covers, kissed her shoulder and whispered, "Honey, it's your folks. Ya want me ta call em back for ya? I'll apologize, make up a story, I'll tell em I'll have ya home right away. Just say the word."

"I'd better call them Merle."

"A'ight. Ya want me ta leave the room? Give ya privacy?"

"No, I want you to stay right here in bed with me."

That surprised him in a pleasant way and he smiled broadly as he replied, "Yes Ma'am, my pleasure."

He'd never been more floored than when he heard her on that phone. "I'm so sorry I made you worry Mama. We fell sound asleep here at Merle's. I guess we must both be exhausted. Anyway Mama there's nothing to worry about, I'm fine, we're both fine. No Mama, I'm not going to come home tonight. I'm staying here with Merle." His eyes were on her, she was really doing this. She sounded so sweet but also so determined.

She paused then, listening as her Mama spoke, then she responded, "I'm sorry you're hurt by this Mama. I would never want to hurt your feelings, you know that. But I'm a grown woman now and Merle and me love each other. We want to be together when we can. I understand, I know it's not how you want things to be but it's how I want them to be. I love you Mama, you really are the best Mother in the world. But I also love Merle."

He couldn't quite believe this was happening, that she could really love him so much she would say these things to her Mother. She'd all but told her they were in bed together, that they'd made love. His sweet, shy and innocent woman was going to bat for him and for them, in the sweetest of ways.

She listened again, "Okay, yes Mama I'll ask him. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Mama."

He wasn't often speechless but he was then. It was alright though, he wasn't feeling the need to speak. His hand went to the back of her hair and he gripped it firmly as he drew her lips to his. He kissed her hard and full and in a way that let her know that need he had, that desire to have her again. His desire grew when she kissed him back with a kiss that was every bit as full of love and need as his.

His hand moved to just lightly cup her sweet little mound and he asked, "Ya sure Honey, not too sore?"

"I want you Merle, I know you'll be careful."

He reached behind him pulling open that night table drawer and along with the condom he withdrew that little bottle of lube. "I'm always gonna be real careful with ya Honey. I told ya I never mean ta hurt ya, an I won't. I love ya Beth an that's a fact."

00

He was coming awake Sunday morning but Honey was still sleeping hard. He smiled, still unable to get over the fact that this perfect little woman had given herself to him. There were so many things he felt about that. Love for her, happiness that she would allow him that pleasure with her, and just that bit of guilt there in the back of his mind. That little nagging something that told him he wasn't good enough for her, for this.

He fought passed that feeling and headed toward the kitchen to make her coffee. It was as he filled the water receptacle he suddenly realized he didn't know. Did she drink coffee? Was she a tea drinker? Did she do like his little brother and start the day off with a coke?

He made the coffee, he'd find out when she woke. But did he really want to wait? No, not really. He went back in the room and crawled back in bed with her . He scolded himself, what man in his right mind would leave a woman like her in bed alone? No man.

He couldn't keep from touching her, from lightly running an open palm along her arms, her leg, her bottom, finally letting it come to a stop as he cupped her breast and nuzzled his face into her neck and hair. She started to move, to stretch and he couldn't help but smile, that's the way you wake a woman.

"G'mornin' Honey. Ya sleep good did ya?"

She managed to roll over without ever leaving his arms. Her little hand was on his cheek and she smiled a small sleepy smile, "Oh yes Merle, I slept so good. It was warm and wonderful here with you." Those words got him, he could feel his body immediately respond with desire. But nah, he couldn't. It was too much, too soon, she'd be hurting for sure.

"How bout a cup a coffee? Are ya a coffee drinker?"

"Well I should probably start drinking it, now that I'm all grown up and everything. I'll try some."

He couldn't help laughing just a little, "Yeah, you're all grown up now Honey." He kissed her forehead while lightly patting her bottom and said, "I'll fix it up special just for you. Be right back."

She propped the pillows, waiting for him to return and she had a little smile on her face. She'd expected that if she gave herself to Merle everything would change, that she would feel so differently about herself and about him. She did.

She'd known the big rough man could be tender and gentle and he had been. But at the same time he'd left her no doubt that his desire for her was deep and that he was all man. Strong and powerful. And that was the key. He didn't have to act rough to show her his strength.

She'd never felt more loved, more desired or more appreciated than when Merle held her and made love to her. He'd taken her innocence but she had no sense of loss. It was the opposite really. She felt like her life was now more complete. She felt happy and excited for them both as they entered this new phase of their relationship.

He may have been standing in the kitchen but his mind was in the bedroom. He'd had so many women in his life that in some ways he felt ashamed by it. But this, she was so different. Never had he been with any woman that it meant so much to him to make sure she was happy and satisfied. To make sure she understood just how precious she was to him, how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her that not just with words, he wanted her to feel it in the way he made love to her.

He was making their coffee and filling her cup with generous portions of both cream and sugar. It made him smile, sweets for the sweet. His hands were calm but his mind was spinning. As much as he loved her and as much as he was so happy to be entering this new time for them, a time of not just emotional but also physical love, he felt somehow overwhelmed.

He felt responsible. Responsible to make her happy, responsible to always be the best man he could be, responsible to care for her and responsible to provide for her. She hadn't asked him to take these responsibilities on, but wasn't that what a good man does? Doesn't a good man care for a woman in all ways?

He brought the coffee back to the room and when he saw her, all propped up in his bed, her blond curls laying on his pillow, the soft smile on her lips and the look of love in her beautiful blue eyes, he thought to himself, "Fuck it, I'll do whatever I gotta do for her."

He set the cups on the night table before slipping in beside her, then handed her hers and lifted his, "Here's ta you Honey."

He didn't think he could have made her cup any sweeter, but she took a sip and scrunched her nose a little and said, "It's so bitter. How do people drink it?"

"Well Honey I think it's kinda an acquired taste, like whiskey."

She'd put off mentioning it to him but she knew she really shouldn't wait any longer, "Mama wants you to come for Sunday dinner Merle. Will you? Please?"

It was right up there near the very top on his list of things he didn't want to do at all. He'd much rather grab little brother for a day of fishing and beer drinking, but instead he smiled and told her, "Honey, if it's you that wants me there, then yeah, I'll go."

She smiled and nodded, "Yes, I want you there. Thank you Merle."

He'd gotten cleaned up, he had on pressed khakis and a pressed shirt, his good boots and he was ready to sit around with her people. People that he didn't dislike in any way, he liked them just fine. And he respected them for the way they were, their strong beliefs in their faith and in the way life should be lived. And he couldn't have felt any less like he belonged at the same table with them. They weren't anything like him and he damn sure wasn't anything like them.

But he was good, he knew how to play the game. He could put on the act he needed to put on. He could make them feel at least a little at ease about their daughter dating the likes of him. He had a good reason to do what he was doing. She had something in common with the drugs he used to take, he had an all-consuming need for her.

Beth had showered and straightened up her clothes as best she could. "As soon as I get home I'm running up the stairs as fast as I can and changing. Maybe Mama and Daddy won't see me."

He smiled as he reached for her hand, "Honey ya do whatever ya gotta do, but I think the cat's outta the bag. They already know ya was with me all night. I don't think ya left your Mama much room for doubt."

Ah and there were those pink cheeks. She was still his shy girl in so many ways. "I know, but I think I'll just feel better if they, you know, don't see me in yesterday's clothes."

He stunned himself then, "Well Honey maybe ya oughta keep a few things at my house. I got more than enough room for whatever ya wanna bring." Shit he'd never let a woman leave so much as a toothbrush at his place.

She looked even more pink, more shy, "Gosh, um okay, um that sounds good. I will. When do I get to stay again?"

He felt that grin go from ear to ear, "Well Honey I wanna have ya here any time ya wanna stay." And it was true. He'd never slept so well as he had with her in his bed and in his arms.

He couldn't give a shit less for himself, but he was happy for her when they got to the house, in the front door, and she got up those stairs before her Mama came in from the kitchen while her Daddy walked out from his office.

Merle nodded and greeted them in turn, "Ma'am, it's real good ta see ya. Thanks for havin' me over." "Sir, you're lookin' fit, that leg don't seem ta be slowin' ya up much."

He saw the look in her Daddy's eye, and yeah, if looks could kill Merle knew he'd be a dead man. He wasn't one bit surprised when Hershel Greene asked, "Merle, can we speak in my office?"

"Sure thing." He'd been expecting it and he was ready.

"I don't think I need to tell you Beth's Mama and I are not at all happy about our daughter staying with you last night. That is not a type of behavior we condone or appreciate."

"I understand completely sir an I do respect your feelings. All I can say is she's old enough ta make her own decisions an as far as I'm concerned, it's always her decision. I want ta assure ya again, I love your daughter. I respect her, an I will never stop tryin' ta be the kind of man that deserves the love of a woman like her."

Hershel just looked back at this man, a man he knew he couldn't beat in any sense of the word. "I know I can't win this one. I know you're right. She's an adult and she's obviously made her decision. But I'm not happy and her Mother's not happy. All we can do now is pray you keep whatever promises you must have made to her for her to have strayed so far."

"I would never break a promise ta Beth. C'mon man, I busted my ass on this farm. I told ya an I'm repeatin' it, I done it for her. I'ma say it one more time, I love your girl. I ain't just in this for sport."

Meanwhile Mama had hurried up the stairs to talk to her girl, "Daughter, what have you done? Have you really given yourself to this man?"

She thought she might choke on her own words, or she might pee her pants right there, but she stood as straight as she could and looked in her Mama's eyes. "Yes Mama. I love Merle and he loves me. He's a good man. You have to know that. Look what he's done for our family. And he's good to me Mama. He's kind and he's patient and he's gentle."

Then she thought she'd crumble when she saw a tear roll from her Mama's eye. She hugged her close, "Please Mama, I know the way you see things. I respect your way, Daddy's way. But Mama it feels so right. I just know Merle is the right man for me, and I believe I'm everything to him. Please don't cry Mama."

It was a saving moment when Maggie and Glenn came banging in the front door, followed by Otis and Patricia. After "Hellos" it was time to sit and, as far as Merle was concerned, get through what he was sure would be an ordeal.

There was a thick layer of tension in the air, everyone could feel it. Although Maggie and Glenn had no idea what was going on, she just had to take one look at Beth and Maggie was sure it had something to do with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. She knew that despite everything Merle Dixon had done for their family her Mama and Daddy were having a very hard time accepting him and Beth being together.

After a blessing by Hershel Greene, that included the line, "We pray our family members will hold tight to their beliefs and their values," it was time to eat.

The second of the saving moments came when Maggie happily announced, "Glenn has really big news. Tell them Glenn, tell them!"

Glenn looked at her with that exasperated look he seemed to give her so often. A look that was always followed by a smile. "Well there isn't anything definite, nothing's written in stone or anything. But one of the big software companies I've been shopping my new app to has requested an interview."

Although there were those at the table who had no clue what an app even consisted of, everyone knew this was the kind of opportunity Glenn had hoped for a very long time. Beth smiled at him, "That's so wonderful Glenn, I'm so excited for you. When's your interview?"

"This Thursday. They've booked me on a flight Wednesday evening. I fly to San Jose, California and someone picks me up at the airport and takes me to a hotel for the night. They're sending a car for me first thing Thursday morning and they told me to be prepared to spend the day at their company headquarters. There are more meetings Friday morning so I won't get back to Atlanta until Friday evening."

Merle commented, "Well man they must be real, real serious if they're flyin' ya out there an puttin' ya up an all. That's great Glenn, really great."

He meant it too, he really was happy for the man. Glenn had worked hard and earned it. But Merle felt that twinge. That little nagging thing at the back of his mind. It told him he was "less than" and that he'd never be "as good as."

A counselor he'd worked with when he got off the dope had told him, "That's why you lead with the tough guy attitude and act like you don't give a shit. The truth is you do give a shit, in fact maybe you care a little too much. Until you believe in your own mind you're every bit as good as the next guy you're always going to have that nagging feeling."

* * *

He didn't want to leave her but he also didn't really care to spend his whole Sunday with her family. So Merle didn't stay long after dinner. Just long enough to be polite and not seem like he was rushing away. She walked him to his pickup and asked, "Will you be here after work tomorrow night?"

He seemed like he was drained and maybe a little down, but he answered, "Yeah Honey, I'll be here."

Was it her? Could he be tired of her already? "Can I come home with you then?"

He looked in her eyes, he should say 'no', they should let her parents adjust to what had already happened. But looking in those blue eyes he knew he couldn't say 'no' and he damn sure didn't want to say 'no.' If they didn't like it, if they couldn't figure out a way to accept him, it was their fucking problem.

His fingers played with the loose strands of curls that framed her face and he smiled, "Honey if that's what ya want then it's exactly what I want. I love ya Beth. I'll text ya later an I'll see ya tomorrow." He didn't care that they were right there in front of her folks house, and he was sure those folks of hers were peering out the window. He cupped her face in his hands and pulled her in close, giving her a deep and very sexy kiss.

"I'll be back for more a that tomorrow."

00

 **A/N I hope you enjoyed the morning after :) Thank you all for reading and I hope you'll leave me a comment / review. The chapter photo of the rough and rugged Merle and sweet and not quite as innocent Beth, is posted to my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick. Please check that out. I look forward to seeing you back her next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thanks so much you guys! As some of you know I've been working out of town for the past several days and have been so crazy busy with that. So I apologize this week's chapter is not quite as long as usual.  
**

00

What she knew in her heart was that what she had with Merle was good, it was right. She didn't mean to or want to hurt her parents or go against their wishes, but she'd made a choice. The choice she'd made was Merle Dixon. She was sorry they felt so apprehensive about him. If only they could see him through her eyes they'd know what she knew.

Merle was a hard and rough man, yes, that was how it appeared. And she had no doubts at all that he was capable of physically hurting anyone he felt like hurting. But there was something else she knew about him. Under that very rough exterior Merle was kind and smart and funny, and always, always so tender with her.

She'd talk that man up to anyone who would listen, and she'd brag on him every chance she got. To her folks, to her sister, even the people she worked with. She was not going to let anyone speak ill of Merle.

What ate at her was that she knew. Even though he never spoke of it, or on the rare occasion it had been brought up he made light of it, Beth knew. Merle had been fighting this fight his whole life. He'd always thought he had to work far harder than most men to prove himself. She knew he felt like whatever some other guy did he had to do twice as much of it and he had to do it twice as well. He was constantly fighting a battle against his family history and mean-spirited gossip.

Her parents were a perfect example of that. Merle had stepped right up for them. There had been nothing that forced or obligated him to do that. He didn't have to come to the farm practically every day and work, especially after he'd already put in a full days' work, and at a job he was actually paid to do. But he did and still it wasn't enough. The situation had left Beth feeling disappointed, angry and sad. Merle didn't seem surprised at all by it.

So even though she had that little bit of guilt about going against her parents that was just what she did. She began to spend as much time at Merle's house, sometimes even a little more, as she did her own.

Now that things at the farm were back to being as normal as they were ever going to be, it was not only Merle that had more time, she did too. They spent that time together.

Often she'd go to his home straight from work. He'd given her a key and told her that what he had was hers. But Beth didn't go there for his things. She went there for him. She liked having a nice dinner waiting for him when he got home. It wasn't just that she loved him and enjoyed doing things for him. True, that was most of it. But it was also the big smile she'd see on his tired face when he walked in the door after a long day working. It told her how happy he was she was there, and the good feeling he had coming home to dinner with her. He never acted like he expected anything of the kind. That made it feel right too. He'd act surprised and so pleased and grateful, and he'd say the sweetest things, "If you'da waited for me Honey I'da made dinner for you. You don't need ta be doin' for me."

She'd just smile into those steely but soft and tired-looking eyes and tell him, "You do plenty for me Merle. How about we agree that I'll take care of you and you take care of me?" She loved what happened next, when he'd wrap her up in his strong arms and pulling her in close he'd say, "Ain't no man ever been as lucky as this man right here."

She even enjoyed going to Merle's home on the nights he went to school. She'd use that time to work on her baking skills. She loved the privacy to just create, away from Mama's watchful eye. She experimented with new recipes and baking methods that came just from her. Merle would get home and try whatever she'd concocted and he was always so complimentary, "I tell ya Honey, ya don't need no fancy bakin' school. I know ya gotta be the best there is." And the best part for her was she knew he meant it. Not only did it make her feel good when he said those nice things to her, and then sealed the thought with a kiss. But she found she'd also finally started to really believe that she had something special, a talent, and that she really was good and getting better all time.

* * *

He never thought he was a guy that could have all of this and be living a life like he was now. But it had happened for him and it was because of her, it was all Beth. His world had never been so happy. It wasn't just that she was a beautiful woman, or just the fact that the lovemaking was something he'd never experienced with anyone else. There was nothing that pleased him more than when he pleased her, and he liked the way she let him know just how good it felt and how happy she was.

That was all a big wonderful part of it, he certainly wasn't denying that, but there was so much more. It was having that someone, that someone Merle felt really knew him, and he knew she truly loved him for who he was. The real him. She didn't judge him based on his past, and she didn't think because his Dad was an asshole it automatically meant he was destined to be one too.

And even though he sometimes, often times, got down on himself and discounted himself and the work he did, telling her things like, "I ain't nuthin' but a glorified delivery boy. I'm the poster boy for a guy with a weak mind and strong back." She wouldn't let him get away with it. She'd chastise him, telling him he wasn't allowed to talk that way about the man she loved. "I won't hear that Merle. Yes, you're strong but you're also so bright and they're lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you. I'm always so proud to say, "Merle Dixon loves me and I am one lucky woman.'"

So he kept working hard to earn her love and her faith in him, and to try and prove to himself he deserved this happiness he'd found with Beth. He worked hard on the job, he worked hard on his studies and mostly he worked hard at trying to make her as happy as she made him.

He remembered back to when he'd been such a stupid asshole. Back when he thought he'd just have a little fun with her and then move on. How could he have known then that Beth would change everything about the way he lived and everything about what he thought he wanted in life? The small blond woman had turned his world upside down.

It was mostly real good, but there were a couple of nagging things that wouldn't quite leave the back of his mind. Number one was her folks. Shit, he'd given up on the idea of them ever truly accepting him. Oh they were polite enough and he was polite with them. But it was the feeling in the air when he was around that told the real story. They were just never going to approve of him being anywhere near their daughter.

He didn't even think it was that they disliked him personally. In fact, he thought her Dad actually did like him and he was sure her Mama did. But that didn't mean they liked him for Beth. They had an entirely different kind of man in mind for their girl, not some big rough redneck with a reputation for having a nasty temper, a taste for the dope and a taste for fighting, and a taste for the company of willing women. Yeah, he wasn't what they had in mind for Beth at all.

The other thing that nagged at him was her. Maybe more correctly, his feelings about her and what was right for her. They weren't far off from what her parents felt. He agreed with their assessment, he wasn't nearly good enough. She was so smart and so sweet and she had so many talents. If she'd been given the right opportunities there was no doubt in his mind she'd be working in some fancy restaurant down in Atlanta, or even New York or Chicago. Or she'd have her own business. Hell maybe even one of those TV shows like she enjoyed watching so much. She'd be the one showing people how to make those fancy cakes and cupcakes and whatnots.

He felt guilty and like it was his fault. Just thinking about how his Honey was going to be stuck working in a grocery store bakery and married to a delivery boy for the rest of her life. Married? Where did that thought come from? But when it did and he gave it some thought he realized, yes he would marry Beth in a heartbeat.

So he tried real hard to convince himself that if she was happy and that if he was happy, then nothing else really mattered. But then those thoughts would creep back in, she was young, she had no idea just how much better she could do. The kind of life he was able to give her might wear thin after a few years. Real thin.

There was the chance that he'd make it, that things could be better. If he could get that logistics job it would be a big step up. He'd be making more cash and he'd at least be a kind of somebody. Plus, once he got "in" that far he could maybe work himself even further up the ladder.

* * *

Everything began to go wrong about a year after they'd taken that big serious step.

He didn't tell anyone, definitely not the guys at work, not even little brother, and he didn't tell the one person he told everything to these days. He didn't tell Beth. That Thursday he didn't work his regular delivery schedule, nothing about what he did that day was regular.

He left home early and drove to the company's corporate office in Atlanta. This was the day, the day they'd interview him and test him and hopefully give him his shot. If he could just get the opportunity to show them he was capable. He was sure he could do the work and do it well, he just needed the chance. If he could do well on the test and they gave him the chance, he'd prove he was the right man for the job.

He felt he did a real solid job on the written portion. He couldn't think of a thing he'd stumbled on. As far as mapping and planning he was confident he'd excelled there as well. And the verbal? Well he thought he'd answered everything in a confident manner and that he'd done real well.

He found out that was where they thought he hadn't done well at all. Verbal skills, communication. At first he couldn't quite figure out what it was the guy was getting at, then it occurred to him. It was all about his backwoods English. He realized to this polished young college grad he probably sounded like some kind of damn hillbilly. Shit.

Anyone else might have seen it for what it was, the guy was trying to be encouraging. He told Merle to take a class, a basic English class, and he gave him the name and number of a person right near Merle's house who could give him some private tutoring. The guy told him frankly and not in a mean way, "I'm not telling you to change who you are Mr. Dixon, you seem more than capable and qualified. It's just that you'll be on the phone a lot, dealing with accounts, trucking companies, and suppliers. You can see where verbal skills are a big deal."

Merle shook the guys' hand, thanked him for his time, for the chance and for the advice and walked out. Inside he was crushed, hating on himself. He'd failed. Once again he just wasn't good enough. This had been his chance to prove to himself and to Beth that he could succeed. That he could give them a good life, that he could be a boss.

He didn't tell her though, he didn't share the news and they didn't talk about it, they didn't work through it and work it out. He didn't let her encourage him to do as the interviewer had suggested. Instead when he got back to town he hit his old favorite watering hole and got himself good and drunk.

00

She'd just gotten off work that same Thursday, just got to her car when her phone rang. She looked at the screen on her phone and smiled when she answered, "Hi how're you? Oh my gosh you're kidding! That's the best news I've heard in forever! Good for you! I'm so happy, and gee just so excited for you guys I don't even know quite what to say." She paused and listened. Her jaw dropped, she was so shocked when she asked, "Are you kidding me? Really? Why would you do that for me? I mean I love that you would, but it's just too much and too unbelievable! Are you sure? Really sure?"

00

 **A/N I hope you enjoyed and that you'll leave a comment / review. If you'd like to see the chapter photo it's posted on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick. Please check it out. Thanks so much for reading along and I hope to see you all back here next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thanks so much to all. We left off with Merle heading to the bar and Beth receiving a phone call. We'll pick it up right there :)**

00

How could her stomach have knots and some weird butterflies at the same time? And she felt happy but she was so nervous, and there was also a hint of dread. She was so completely confused, she needed to talk to Merle. She decided to just go to his house and wait for him.

She hadn't planned to go to Merle's when she got off, she planned to go home to the farm. He'd told her he might have to work late and he'd text her when he was home. But everything had changed, she had huge news to share with him.

She hurried back in the grocery and bought what she'd need to make a pot of chicken and noodles for their dinner. It would be ready and waiting whatever time he got home.

She got to his place and got the chicken started then quickly went in the bathroom and showered. She dressed in a casual knit shift and put her hair in a haphazard ponytail, before going back to the kitchen to finish the dinner prep.

* * *

It was just before five when he pulled in the lot of Seekers. It had been months since he'd been there. Once he and Beth got together he couldn't see a reason to even bother. If he was going to relax and have a couple of beers he'd just as soon have them at home on the couch, with his arm around her when he did. It had taken him a few months to realize it but then he came to know, the reason he used to spend time in bars was because he was lonely. With Beth he'd found what he'd always needed, a reason to stay home.

This night was different, he was determined to get drunk and forget everything. Even her. He was so far down, and it was all him he was down on. He wanted far more for her than for her to be stuck with a guy headed nowhere. He wanted so much to do so much for her, and he just couldn't. And look at him now, pfft, where did he turn with all those feelings? A bar. Further convincing himself he didn't deserve Beth Greene.

He walked in, slid up on a stool and looked down the bar to see what other fools were there. Shit, it was like he'd just been there the day before, the bar was lined with those same old losers. Guys like him. The same old barman walked over, "Hey there Dixon, it's been a while since I've seen your ornery ass. I thought maybe ya crawled up on the wagon."

Merle laughed like it was funny and said, "Well I ain't done that quite yet, so how bout a Pabst?"

He took a long pull and it was good, it was cold, he opened his throat and poured the rest down. "Hey man, one more."

Fuck, he missed her. He realized just what he needed and it wasn't the beer. He needed to hold her, that's when he'd feel okay. That's when things in his world would be right. The beer could dull the pain, but being with her could fix the pain. He took the phone out of his shirt pocket and texted her, "Hey Honey."

He stared at the screen until it lit up and he did feel better when he saw the words, "Hi! I'm at your house making dinner. I missed you too much to say away."

"Be there soon."

She'd been so excited when she received his text, he was on his way home. Their dinner was ready and it wasn't late at all, just six. They'd have plenty of time to talk later. She'd been so nervous but she knew once she saw him it would be alright. They'd talk about everything and decide what was best for both of them, and together they'd figure out how to make it happen.

She heard the truck pull in the drive, wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and hurried to the living room to welcome him home. One look and she knew something was off. She had no idea what, but something. What happened next left her no doubt she was right.

He always acted happy to see her and he was always very affectionate, but this was different. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, not until what happened next. He hurried to her like he hadn't seen her in a year. His arms wrapped around her middle and then his strong hands slid up her back and pulled her body close to his. His face was in her neck and he whispered, "I need ya so much Beth. But I need ta know I can make ya happy."

She was confused but that didn't alter the fact she loved the man and what she told him was the truth. Her lips were close to his ear and she whispered back, "You always make me happy Merle, you must know that by now. I love you and I need you too." She could smell the beer on him but he wasn't drunk, that wasn't it. But the fact he'd obviously had a couple was one of the things that told her tonight wasn't the night to talk to him about her news.

They pulled apart just a little and she asked him, "Are you hungry? I made some chicken and noodles."

He didn't really care if he ate or not but she'd taken the time to cook for him, and more than anything he wanted to just sit and look at her a while. "Yeah Honey, that sounds great. I know I told ya a million times, ya shouldn't always be doin' for me."

"And I've told you a million times Merle, I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to." Yeah, he told himself. Coming home was what he'd needed to do all along.

They sat at the small dining room table and it was still so apparent to her, something was different with him. It seemed he couldn't stop looking at her, and he kept reaching across the table to her and squeezing her hand. She had no complaints about his show of affection, it was just that something continued to feel off.

"Did you have a good day at work?" It was small talk but maybe he'd open up.

She saw it again in the hesitation before he answered, "Yeah Honey, everything was just fine, just the usual. How bout you?"

She acted like she hadn't noticed, maybe he just wasn't ready to talk. "I did. I had a specialty cake to do for that new steakhouse in town. I guess the official grand opening is Sunday but they were having some private event tonight. Anyway, it was so much fun and they were so complimentary when they picked it up this afternoon."

He felt that twinge, she was so good, he was such a loser, but he smiled, "That's wonderful Honey. I bet they'll be wantin' ta order a lot more from ya. I'm sure it looked great, but when they taste it they're gonna know they got themselves sumthin' real special."

That was it. The look in his eyes, the slight hunch of his shoulders, the tone in his voice. It all told her things weren't right. She did something that wasn't like her at all. She rose from her chair and moved to him, seating herself in his lap.

He looked a little confused but he smiled as he gazed in her eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair gently twisting his curls around them. Her eyes were focused on his and she spoke softly, "I know something isn't right and I hope that sometime soon you'll feel you can share what that is with me. For now I want you to know I love you. I think I fell for you the first time I saw you and I'm never going away."

With her words his lips were on hers. It seemed like everything in his life had gone to shit, everything but her. She was that one bright spot and he needed her in every way a man needs a woman.

One thing he knew he did have going for him was a strong back. That knowledge coupled with his powerful need to be close to her, and he slid one muscled arm under her legs while he wrapped the other around her tightly, just under her arm. In one swift and seemingly effortless motion he stood with Beth cradled in his arms. She didn't speak, she just kept looking in his eyes and running her fingers through his curls.

"I need a nice warm shower Honey, how bout you?"

She didn't bother telling him she'd had hers when she got there, it didn't matter. This was with Merle. Once in the bathroom he carefully set her down on the soft white rug, and as they stood facing each other his hands moved to caress her face. His lips were on hers and his kiss was full of that passion she was sure no man but Merle possessed. But it was something more than just passion.

She felt it, she felt his need for something far beyond the physical. Whatever it was she'd do her best to satisfy his hunger.

He had that way of getting her naked before she had time to think about what was going on. This night was no different, he discarded her clothes and then his own in a pile on the bathroom floor. Without taking his eyes from hers he reached his hand in the shower and turned the handles. One of his big strong hands gently cradled the back of her head while his mouth was on her mouth. His other arm extended with his hand under the running water, waiting for the temperature to be just right. When he deemed it was he moved his hand from her hair down to cup her bottom and he guided her into the shower.

There was something so sensuous about having him wash her hair. He was so gentle, at least until he grabbed a handful of that blond hair and pulled her backward into his chest. It wasn't painful, it was just incredibly sexy when he held her in his arms and nuzzled his face into her neck. Almost as sexy as when they soaped each other up.

When they'd rinsed he reached over her and turned the water off, then grabbing a towel he dried her and then himself. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands grasped the backs of her thighs as he lifted her and her legs went around his waist.

She took the initiative now, leaning her body into his and kissing him deeply. He held the kiss as he carried her to his bed, then moved one arm firmly around her waist and bent just enough to pull the covers down with the other. He gently lay her on the cool sheets and for a moment just stood above her looking at her with what seemed a mix of love and some sort of vague concern. He knelt beside the bed and began to slowly and softly let his open palm skim along her body.

In a hoarse whisper he told her, "You're so beautiful Honey, you're so special. Way too beautiful and way too special ta be spendin' your love on a guy like me."

"Don't say that Merle, don't ever say that. It's not true. You're everything I want, you're all I'll ever want."

He knew she believed that and he wished he could. But for now it sounded so perfect, it sounded right and it was all he wanted and all he needed to hear. His hand wrapped gently around the back of her neck as he pulled her closer and kissed her with a warm mix of tenderness and desire. Soon his hand was again slipping down her body until it stopped to gently caress her breast. He played with it, tweaking the nipple and enjoying her reaction to his touch.

Beth surprised him every time they made love. She didn't give an outward appearance of it but she was such a sexual being. She was always so warm, willing and responsive. He almost started to overthink it again. He almost started telling himself for what must be the millionth time, he didn't deserve this with her. But he caught himself and in true Merle fashion told himself, fuck that shit. I want this too much to question it.

With that thought his mouth moved to her breast while his hand moved to caress and play with her soft little mound. She was moaning now, her fingers in his hair and softly calling his name, "Merle, oh Merle. It feels so good."

He couldn't help it, even with her small breast in his mouth he felt himself smiling, and as his finger slipped inside that warm wet center she again cried out softly, "Oh Merle."

He lifted his head to look at her and smiled when he said, "Honey ya know I love ya, I gotta have ya." And with those words he stood and slipped into the bed.

He was propped on his knees between her legs, his hands clasping the insides of her thighs as he pulled them further apart and told her, "I gotta taste that sweetness right there." She gasped with pleasure as his mouth and tongue began to work their magic on that oh so aroused, and oh so sensitive little bundle of nerves.

Her fingers tugged harder at his curls as she called out, louder now, more feverish now, "Oh my gawd Merle, oh my gawd. You, you, oh you make me feel so good…"

He slipped a finger in her and began pumping and teasing her more, then lifted his face just enough to say, "Come for me Honey, come for me. Let me know what ya like, let me feel it. Come for me." His mouth was back on her and his tongue back in her and within seconds she began to feel her body tense, and then release that tension and what felt like a kind of warm delicious shock wave shot right through her. She'd done as he asked, come for him with a pleasure she could never imagine feeling with anyone else. She'd added to his pleasure when in a ragged and nearly breathless voice she called out, "Oh my gawd Merle, oh my gawd."

He was back up on his knees and grabbing the packet from the bedside table. He thought of having her slip the condom on him but that might take too long and he couldn't wait. He needed her now. He did what had to be done and then with two strong hands he grabbed her bottom, forcing her close to his engorged manhood. "Ready Honey, ready for your man?"

"Yes, yes please Merle, please. I'm so ready." On that he slipped inside her loving the sound of her squeal as he did.

He had her arms pinned above her head, one hand wrapped tightly around he wrists, while he was almost in a kneeling position as he thrust into her. Using his mouth to tease her nipple. She feigned a struggle, "Merle let me loose, let me touch you."

"Nah, this is all about me touchin' you." He teased her more, stopping his strokes while continuing to tease her nipple. She was squirming now, "Please Merle, please." He looked at her so seriously, "Please Merle what?" "Please, please you know what I need, I need you Merle."

"Goddamn Honey, goddamn, ya got me all wound up now." And he was pumping hard as her legs wrapped around him pulling him even deeper into her. "Merle I'm going to come again, oh Merle, it feels so good." When she started going over that edge he went over it with her.

They lay so close, their limp bodies damp with sweat and both of them breathing heavily. He felt it and he told her, "I don't know how I can love someone so much. I never woulda thought I had it in me."

"I'm so happy that you do Merle because I know I could never love any other man." He kissed her, it was the tender kiss of a well-satisfied lover. "Let me get ya a cloth." He cleaned up, cleaned her up, and then slipped in the bed and held her close.

He woke early, wanting to get her coffee and a bite to eat before she went to work. It was while he was making her toast the idea came to him. He posed his question when she wandered in the kitchen. She was always so cute in the morning. Sleepy-eyed and wearing just a thin little robe she kept there. "Honey would ya come away with me this weekend? Let's get outta town for a couple of days."

She smiled, "Where Merle? Where is it you want to go?"

"I don't know, I'll think a sumthin'. I just know I want ta go somewhere we don't know no one. Somewhere just the two of us. Would ya? Can we?"

"Sure. I'll hurry home to the farm after work and pack a little bag. What are you thinking, just casual?"

"Yeah, yeah perfect. Ya just bring what's comfortable."

He arrived at the farm early, 5:30, but she was ready. It was always so damn awkward when her Daddy answered the door. It felt like the old man was always giving him that look, the look that said, "You stole my most prized procession you son of a bitch." And Merle knew that's just what he'd done.

He helped her in the truck before sliding in on his side. As he made to put the pickup in gear she questioned, "So where is it Merle? Where are you taking me?"

"Nuthin' but the best for you Honey, I'm takin' ya ta Rome for the weekend!"

They both laughed out loud, knowing the Rome he spoke of was Rome, Georgia. She teased him back, "It sounds lovely Merle, what made you choose Rome over Paris or London?"

"Well I didn't wanna go far." He winked at her, then turned a little serious, "I wanted someplace where I don't know no one. All I want is ta go somewhere alone with ya an have ya in bed with me all weekend long."

"Alright, that sounds kind of perfect to me too."

He'd thought about a bed and breakfast but then he thought that might be just a bit too cozy. He was hoping to have her loudly calling his name this weekend and he didn't want anyone calling 9-1-1. He opted for a hotel he hoped had thick walls, and he'd keep the radio turned up.

Neither of them had a complaint about the time they spent in Rome. It seemed a little decadent, mostly just laying around in bed with each other, having a drink and making love. But they did get out some. They dined, they took walks and they even visited the Oak Hill & The Martha Berry Museum Saturday afternoon.

It happened Saturday night. He did have the radio turned up and they'd each had a Jameson and ginger. She was feeling the alcohol and he was feeling her. She was a little scared at first when, as he stood at the end of the bed he took her ankles and in a quick move had her turned on her tummy. He pulled her hard into him and she yelped, "Merle what are you doing?"

"I ain't gonna hurt ya Honey. Just relax n trust me." She did and although it was startling at first, when he entered her from behind that way, with his hands grasped tightly on her hips and pulling her into him while he pushed hard into her, it did feel so different and it felt so good and when she came she did scream, "Merle! Merle!" That was all it took for him to join her in his own quaking climax.

That wasn't the only thing that made it a good weekend for Merle. It was that he'd started to finally, just a little, believe it could be okay. They'd talked and she'd told him, like she had so many times, but this time he listened more closely when she did. She said how all she'd ever wanted was a simple quiet life. A life spent with someone she loved and who loved her back. She told him she'd like to live in a house like his house, but with a couple of kids and maybe a pup in the yard.

Those were things Merle had never thought he wanted, not before Beth. But now all of that sounded perfect to him too. Maybe they really could make this work. Maybe they could have that life together.

She sat close to him on the way back home. She kept her hand on his thigh, rubbing it softly now and then. When they were close she asked, "Can I just go home with you?'

"Ya know ya can, anytime ya want."

She hadn't told him her news yet. Over the weekend the time had never seemed quite right. Tonight would be the night. They had a light dinner and after the dishes were done they sat in the living room. He had the stereo on low, playing the classic country music he loved, and she began her story.

"I heard from Maggie and Glenn Thursday afternoon and I haven't even told you anything about it. It was such a surprise and we've been so busy just enjoying each other, well I guess I didn't get around to it."

"What is it Honey? Is everything okay?"

"Oh yes it's wonderful news for them Merle. Remember when Glenn went to California to talk to that big software company about his app?"

"Yeah sure. I been wonderin' when he'd finally hear."

"Well I guess he heard, at least tentatively, a while back. They didn't want to say anything until all the contracts were done and signed and all because, I guess he was worried something could go wrong at the last minute."

"Anyway, you won't believe how much they're paying him." She was right about that. When she told him he was dumbfounded.

"Holy shit, ya kiddin' me?"

"No I guess they think it's going to really take off and it's not just that. A part of it is that he signed this contract that he would continue to develop follow up apps, like second and third generation stuff. They also want him to work with a team that's developing other apps and even software. It's a pretty juicy deal, isn't it?"

"Yeah damn. Good for him. Now will this mean they gotta move ta California?"

"No, he 's going to just work from a home office, of course they're going to buy a new home. I suppose it'll be a big fancy one."

"Well that's real, real nice for them. Damn, I guess I had no idea what that shit paid. I never gave it a thought."

"There's more Merle."

"More? Like what?"

"I'm kind of embarrassed to tell you because it's just so much, but they offered me something, something big."

"What Beth? C'mon Honey you're killin' me here."

"Well it's just that they both know, they've known forever, that I'd like to go to culinary school. They've offered to send me to the best, it's one up in New York City." She was smiling but it was a nervous smile.

He felt the knife go right through his heart and he hoped she couldn't see his pain. He was trying so hard to be upbeat. "Well that's just wonderful Honey. Just what ya always wanted. Cookin an bakin' school, right?"

"Well I used to think that but now, no. I'm not going Merle. I don't want to anymore."

"Why Honey? Why would ya say that when ya love that stuff so much? It's a great chance for ya. Seems too good ta turn down, ya gotta go."

"No, I don't want to go so far away Merle. I'd be gone a whole year. I couldn't stand to be gone from you that long." Her words sounded so good, he could have just nodded and agreed with her. But what kind of asshole would he be? No. No. He'd never be able to live with himself.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and held her close to his heart, "We'll work it out. You'll come see me and I'll come see you. Time will fly by, you'll see."

He'd never realized how stubborn his sweet girl could be, but she showed him, '"No. I'm not going to go. It's a very kind and generous offer but I'm not going."

00

 **A/N Damn, will she stay or will she go? Thanks so much for reading along. I'd appreciate if you'd leave a comment / review. There's a chapter photo on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please have a look. I hope to see you all back here next Thursday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until than I thank you again and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Thank you all so much. When we left Merle and Beth she'd just told him about the offer, and she also told him she wouldn't go. Let's see how it all plays out.**

00

It was what she wanted, she said so. She said she didn't want to leave him, go to New York and study for a year. It was her call. He'd asked her more than once and she insisted. It made him happy because the last thing he wanted was for her to leave.

She was under pressure though and he knew it. She was getting the full court press from her folks and from her sister and brother in law. He knew their thoughts. They were convinced she was throwing away a huge opportunity for no-good reason. The no-good reason being one Merle Dixon. A rough and rowdy nobody who was never going to be able to give her the life she deserved.

The only one in her family who didn't seem to feel that way about him was her. Beth kept telling him he was indeed the life she deserved, everything she wanted. It was so hard for him to believe those sweet things she told him, but he wanted to because he loved her. She was it for him.

It went so far as him visiting the local jeweler and buying a little diamond ring. It wasn't some big fancy deal. It was small and delicate and it reminded him of her. Now all he needed was to plan the right time and place to ask her the big question.

As much as he wanted to forget all about it, it kept gnawing at him. He was holding her back. He was nothing but a big old redneck roadblock to her future. But then he'd see her and she'd smile and he'd hold her in his arms and he tried hard to convince himself that she really didn't care about culinary school. She was over all that.

He still hadn't told her what happened at that interview. She never even knew there was an interview. He told himself she didn't need to worry about it anyway, he was about to turn things around. The thing was, now that she was going to stay, and now that he had the ring, he also had renewed motivation and even stronger determination to succeed.

He'd given himself a harsh talking to and he told himself to get off his fucking pity pot and get on with it. Do this thing. He started seeing that tutor and he enrolled in the English class. Then just when he started to feel pretty damn good about it all he'd get slapped in the face again. He'd come home from school and she'd be there. She'd been baking and there would be some sweet and delicious little creation and he'd feel it, the guilt.

He thought back to that first date they had, back when he still thought he was just in it for fun. He'd listened to her tell him in that soft sweet voice just what she wanted. He could still hear her words, " _Someday I'd like to be a real pastry chef. It's been a dream of mine for a long time, but it's very expensive to get the education. I'm not really a trained baker. Mama taught me everything I know, and I've experimented with recipes and things. I just don't know that I'm ready yet. I've been putting almost all my money back though. I'm saving to maybe go to Baking and Pastry school."_

He was such a know-nothing he hadn't even been aware they had schools for such things. And now she had a chance to go. A real good deal too. The school would be paid for, the living expenses would be covered. It was an opportunity she should be jumping all over and he knew she would be, if not for him.

But she convinced him she was happy right where she was so he chose to believe that. He made his plan. He was going to take her to that fancy steakhouse on Saturday night, he already had the reservation and everything. He'd gotten his one and only suit pressed and he polished his shoes and most important, he had that little diamond ring.

The plan was that after supper he'd take her for a walk around town, just like their first date. There was a spot in the park, a little spot they'd been to many times. That was where he'd ask her the big question. He was sure of all the things he'd ever done in his life, this was by far the smartest thing. He wanted to marry her and he wanted them to build a life together. If she wanted two kids they'd have two kids, and yes, even that pup for the yard. If she wanted a pup he'd get her that pup.

 **Beth**

There had been that moment when she got the call. It was a feeling she'd never forget. It was the feeling of a long-held dream coming true. How often does anyone have that feeling?

Mama had told her that once she was old enough to toddle into the kitchen on her own it was the place she wanted to be. She was sure Mama hadn't just made that up because she couldn't remember a time she didn't bake. She loved it and it was apparent from the start she had an innate talent for it.

When she was only about 12 she decided she wanted to learn all about decorating. She'd watch YouTube videos and check books out of the library, and she'd practiced on anything that would hold still. By the time she was a young teenager she'd become as adept at decorating as bakers with far more experience.

Then one day it happened. She was home sick, flipping through all the cable channels trying to find something worth watching. That's when she stumbled on it. It was a show all about people decorating cakes and there were challenges and she was intrigued.

She learned some things watching that show, including that there were schools that taught the finer aspects of cooking, and there were even those that specialized in what she enjoyed most, baking and pastry arts. The idea of attending one of those schools became her dream. She just knew that once that part came true she'd be able to fulfill the second dream. The dream of becoming a dessert chef at a nice restaurant, or even opening her own little shop.

Then Merle came into her life. She'd never even thought about something like it happening. She never thought she could meet a man and have such deep and profound feelings for him, that what she'd always thought was her big dream would be overshadowed by the love she felt. But that was exactly what happened.

Living her life with Merle, hopefully the two of them deciding to make a lifetime commitment, that was the new dream.

So, once she thought about what she would be giving up if she left; if she went to New York City to attend The Tripp Culinary Art Institute of North America. It just wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth the risk of losing the love of her life. Besides, she enjoyed doing just what she was doing.

She knew Merle had trouble believing she would give up what was once her biggest dream. He couldn't believe it suddenly just wasn't that important to her. So she tried very hard to show him both with words and actions.

And she was excited now. He hadn't told her where they were going, only that they were going somewhere special. When she asked, "Well what should I wear?" He smiled and kissed the top of her head and told her. "Ya wear what ya want Honey, ya always look beautiful ta me."

She smiled looking at him like she knew he had a secret, "Well what will you be wearing?"

"I'ma be wearing a suit."

A suit? She thought about that. She'd never seen Merle in a suit. This must be some kind of really big deal. Then she wondered, could he be planning to ask her to marry him? She smiled and shook her head, "No Beth Greene, don't you get your hopes up." But she couldn't help hoping.

00

It was the Tuesday morning before the big date. He was over at the mini market restocking their coolers and putting the extra cases in the back room. When the job was done he pushed his hand truck to the rig, and who in the world was there waiting? Hershel and Maggie Greene.

It started out pleasant enough, well as pleasant as things got between Merle and the Greenes. Then Maggie got right to the matter at hand, "Do you really want to be the one who stands between Beth and a dream she's had for practically her whole life? There may have been a time it was out of reach but now it can happen for her. But you've got her head so turned around she's ready to just walk away from everything she's ever wanted, and for what? So she can be some ignored and overburdened housewife raising a litter of Dixon babies?" Her Daddy touched her arm in that way, the way that told her she'd overstepped.

Merle drew in a deep breath and worked hard at keeping his voice steady, "I don't appreciate y'all comin' by my work so you can tell me what a worthless piece a shit I am. I ain't gonna fight you people on this. I told her ta go an if she still wanted me when she got back, well I'll be here. Thing of it is, she likes me a whole lot more'n you folks like me an she claims she'd be happier stayin' here. What kind of fool would I be forcin' her to leave me?"

It was Hershel's turn to try to stay calm while having his say, "You're right Merle, we shouldn't have come here and blindsided you this way. Despite what you may think, I like you Merle, my wife likes you. We just don't like you for Beth. I think you see it and I think you'll agree, you're not well-suited. Bethie is a sweet girl who deserves something different in life. Now she has a golden opportunity to fulfill a dream she's had for years and to achieve a goal. You and I both know what's keeping her here. If you'd let her go I believe she'd take her chance, and you know in your heart Merle, she'd have a better life."

"Like I said, it's Beth's call. Right now, I'm a workin' man an on the job, I ain't got the time ta discuss this." He got in his truck and he could feel the steam rising in him. Those assholes. If he wasn't an old man and she wasn't a woman he would have kicked both their asses.

The trouble came in the fact that he just couldn't quit thinking about those things they'd said. There were those words that just kept coming at him, the woman he thought the world of was going to be overburdened, ignored, she could do better, she could have so much more, but mostly that it was him. He would ultimately be the one responsible for standing in the way of her dream. He'd be the one ruining her life.

So, how would that make him the winner? He'd be married to a woman whose future he'd stepped all over. He'd always know he was the one who had prevented her from fulfilling a dream, and from having the life she wanted. How could he ever live with himself knowing he'd ruined the life of this woman that he loved more than anything else in this world?

Just as he'd done so many times since she'd come into his life, Merle Dixon made a decision to change the plan.

That's all he thought about the rest of the day. He was so preoccupied he could hardly do what needed to be done, and for the first time ever he screwed up a delivery. He caught himself and made it right, but he knew for sure then, his head was somewhere else.

00

Early on in the relationship, the minute he realized he really did care for her. The minute he knew it wasn't going to be possible to have some hit and run with Beth Greene, he'd begun to feel plagued with guilt and self-doubt.

He'd managed to squelch it for the most part, at least until the day he didn't get his shot at the logistics job. With her being the way she was though and treating him so special, he almost thought it could work. Then she told him about the call and the offer and he felt a huge weight drop on him.

Then she managed to change his mind again, she had him 90% convinced she no longer had a desire to go to culinary school. She'd made him believe she wanted to stay right where she was. She told him how much she loved him and he knew how much he loved her, and he wanted it so badly he allowed himself to believe it could all be true.

Then her Daddy and her sister had confronted him. He probably should have told them to go fuck themselves. He would have if in his heart he didn't know they were right. He was nothing but a hindrance to her. He was going to ruin her life.

He couldn't do it anymore, he couldn't be the guy that ruined the life of the only woman he ever loved. She made it clear though no matter how many times he'd told her to go, she wasn't going. He promised her everything would be fine, and he promised he'd be waiting for her when she got back. He told her he loved her and he wanted her to go. He told her he wanted her to live out her dream. Her response was always the same, "No."

His plan was to give her no real choice. What if he said he was done with her? What if he told her he didn't now and never had loved her? What if he was just mean enough that she'd want to go?

As luck would have it he really had no chance to rethink this new plan. He pulled in the driveway and saw it, Beth's car was parked in front of his house.

He steeled himself and he told himself this was for her. It was the right thing to do. She deserved to have her dream.

He walked in the door and he could smell the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen, she'd cooked him supper. Fuck. Why did she have to be so sweet? And then she came walking out of the kitchen with that big beautiful smile on her face and he almost caved. But he had to forget about what he wanted and about what made him happy, he had to sacrifice it all for her.

"Hi Merle."

"Yeah hey Beth, we gotta talk. Things ain't workin' out."

"Okay. What is it that isn't working out?"

He pointed at her and then himself, "This here, you an me. It ain't been workin' for me for a...well never really. Thing is all I ever wanted was ta just break ya in. Get with ya, take ya, make ya mine. I never intended ta keep ya around all this time. Truth is, I just ain't a one-woman man an I'm tired a this, tired a you. Ya just don't do it for me no more."

"Merle I don't know what you think you're doing but you're not funny."

"Well good cuz I ain't tryin' ta be funny. Listen Beth, it was fun while it lasted but it ain't gonna last any longer. I'ma head on out an I'll be gone for a couple hours. When I get back I want you an your shit outta here. An leave my key on the kitchen table. Don't bother me no more, don't come around no more. I'ma be busy with someone new."

She was hurrying over to him and he saw that fury in her eyes and he knew in that moment she was hating on him. Good, that was what he wanted. Except it hurt so bad. He couldn't believe he'd said those things to her, he couldn't believe he was capable of treating the woman he loved in such a cruel way. But he had to, he'd done it for her. It was the right thing and the only way she'd do what was best, leave him and go to school.

 _He just stood there with his arms hanging at his sides, feet spread apart, eyes focused straight ahead and jaw clinched tight, while she beat on him._

 _Her tiny hands were clinched into fists and she was hitting his chest as hard as she could. She was strong but a little thing like her wasn't causing Merle Dixon any real pain, at least not physical pain. Her words were painful, they hurt and he couldn't deny they cut real deep. And he'd never heard her talk like that, use those words, cuss him out that way, but he was glad for it. He wanted her to hate him, he wanted her to walk out that door and never look back, never regret having left him._

 _"You son of a bitch, how can you be this way, how can you be so cold?! You said you loved me and all that time it was a lie? You were just feeding me a lot of bullshit so you could what? Play with my feelings? Play with my heart? Get another notch on your bedpost? I never thought I'd be capable of hating anyone but I hate you Merle Dixon! I'll go to my grave hating you."_

 _He was good with that, oh he didn't want to hear it, not ever did he want to hear those words coming from her lips. But he wanted her to have those feelings toward him, to hate him just that much. It was what came next that nearly killed him, nearly made him take it all back, nearly made him tell her why it was that he'd said those things._

 _Because suddenly she quit hitting him and just stood there in front of him, crying hard. Her whole body was shaking and never had he wanted to hold her more, scoop her up in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn't. In his mind it was because he loved her that he was doing what he was doing. He never thought of himself as being a noble guy, in fact he was pretty sure he was about as far from noble as a man can be. But for her, for Beth, he was trying to do the right thing._

"Damn, I can't be listenin' ta that shit. It was fun girl an now it ain't fun no more. Get over it. I'm out."

And he turned and walked out the door. He got two blocks before he had to pull the truck over and jump out. He spent the next five minutes throwing up in the street.

When he kind of got it together he drove to the store, stocked up on beer and headed to little brother's place.

He must have looked bad because when his brother answered the door Daryl took one look at him and asked, "The fuck happened Merle? Someone die? Ya okay?"

"Sit down, shut up an drink some beers with me."

It was the look, it was the stance and it was the sound of his voice. All those things told Daryl it was something heavy, it wasn't about brothers having a couple of beers together. "Dude, what? Is it Beth?"

"Shut the fuck up about Beth. I don't never want ta hear her name again, got it? Now like I said, sit down shut up and drink some beers with me."

That's when Daryl knew, it had to be Beth. The other thing he knew was this wasn't going to be the time he and his brother would talk about it. Merle was obviously on a mission to get shitfaced and Daryl didn't argue, "Sure thing. I could use a beer."

The he watched as his older brother plopped himself down hard on the sofa and buried his face in his hands. Whatever this was it was bad. All Daryl could think was she must have kicked Merle's ass to the curb.

00

She was crying so hard she could barely see what she was doing, but she was doing it. He told her he wanted her out and that he never wanted to see her again. She didn't know which feeling was more powerful, her hate for Merle Dixon or the ache of her broken heart. But she packed up her things in a trash bag and hauled it out to her car.

Her family had tried to warn her so many times about the kind of person Merle was. How could she have been so blind? How was it that everyone had seen the real him except her? She must be the most stupid person in the world. She'd given herself to him and loved him in every way, and all that time all he'd wanted was to have his way with her, and then toss her aside so he could move on to the next unsuspecting girl.

She only got two blocks before she had to pull the car over. She was crying so hard she couldn't see the road. And her heart was so broken she could barely breath. He had to have loved her. How could he have treated her so special for over a year and not have cared for her in some way? It had to be more that just conquest and sex, didn't it?

She wanted to ask him those things but he'd told her not to call, not to contact him, and anyway she was in no condition to. Instead she called her sister Maggie. She sobbed into the phone as in a choked and broken voice she told her sister Merle had broken her heart. "I don't think I can drive Maggie. Please can you come get me?"

Her Daddy and her sister came for her. Maggie would drive Beth's car back while Beth rode with their Daddy. That was the plan.

Then they saw her. They had no idea it would be this bad. It took them both trying to settle her down just to get her to move over so Maggie could drive. She couldn't even tell them what had happened. She couldn't get the words out to let them know why she was so broken and so brokenhearted.

She didn't need to, they knew. Now they had something in common with Merle Dixon, that feeling about Beth that he'd felt for so long. Guilt.

00

 **A/N Well there it is. Now what? Thank you so much for reading along and please comment / review. The chapter photo is posted on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check it out. Again, I thank you all for reading along and I hope to see you back here next week for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Thank you all again. I appreciate you reading along and all the comments and reviews. We had a rough ending last chapter, let's see what happened next.**

 **PLEASE NOTE: Next week - guess what? The story posts a day early, on Wednesday.**

00

It's was a perfect Georgia morning. The sun shone brightly and yet it wasn't too hot. There was just enough hint of a breeze that the leaves on the big oak, the one that grew in front of the old white farmhouse, rustled lightly. It was all very idyllic. Except that it felt as though a dark cloud and stormy skies had settled themselves over that house.

Her sister was laying on the bed next to her. She'd been there all night trying to calm and comfort Beth's broken heart. But there was no calm and there was no comfort.

At four a.m. Daddy called the bakery manager to tell him, "Yeah, hey I wanted to let you know Beth isn't feeling well. She can't even seem to get up out of bed. I'm afraid she won't make it into work today. I'll call you later and let you know how she's doing." He paused as he listened, then responded, "Okay I appreciate it, thank you for your understanding."

Meanwhile, in a small house over on the south side of town Daryl Dixon had given up trying to wake his brother in any kind of nice way. He'd resorted to ice water in the face. "Merle! Get it the fuck in gear man! You're gonna be late for work an I gotta get goin' myself, c'mon."

He had no idea what time his brother had finally passed out, but he did know that when he'd given up and hit the sack at midnight his brother was still hitting it hard. "C'mon Merle, whatever's wrong it ain't gonna help if ya fuck up the job."

"A'ight, I got this. Ya go on ta work little brother, I'll lock up. Thanks."

It wouldn't be the first time Merle Dixon had gone to work in a state somewhere between drunk and sober, and feeling a lot like shit. But what he'd never gone to work with was a broken heart.

He sure as hell couldn't show up at the job smelling like he'd drunk a keg of beer, and looking like he fell in a pile of crap. He rushed back to his place to clean up and try to make himself look and smell half-assed presentable. And the whole time the memory of what he'd said to her, the way he acted and the way she cried, it just wouldn't leave him.

He'd learned the thing, the thing about there not being enough alcohol in the world to kill the pain of a broken heart. He tried telling himself he just needed to nut the fuck up. He'd brought this on himself and he'd done it for a real good reason. He'd done it so she could have her dream.

But the picture of her that wouldn't leave his mind, the one of her looking at him with those crying eyes filled with hurt and disbelief, that didn't make him feel good about anything.

He took the pain and despite what he knew, he tried real hard to drown it. He still went to work every day, after all, it takes money to pay for the amount of alcohol he was consuming. He knew he looked bad, shit how could he not? He saw the dark circles, he saw the deepening of the lines on his face. And his clothes told a story too, all the drinking with very little eating had caused him to drop a few pounds.

He was getting away with it though, getting by. That's all he was trying to do anyway, he just needed to survive from one day to the next.

It was about two months into his broken heart when he went over to the east side to call on an old acquaintance. It was a guy that years before Merle had promised himself he'd never call on again. But then how could he have known he'd get so desperate, so wrung out that he'd do whatever he had to do to cure the pain? Even if the cure was only temporary.

He gave the guy the cash and he took the bag of crystal and stuck it in his pants pocket. All the way back home he tried to tell himself this was the wrong thing to do, that he'd only get in deeper. But then he'd tell himself this was the only thing that was going to work, the only thing that might finally make him forget about her.

He threw the bag on the coffee table and went in search of that old pipe. He'd never thrown it away. He'd wondered why from time to time, and he'd try and remember what he'd been thinking. Why did he save it? Was it some kind of souvenir from a life lived wrong? He wasn't sure, but now he was glad that he did. He must have known, even back then, he'd fuck up again.

He found it right where he'd stashed it, there on the floor in the back corner of his closet. It was wrapped in a kerchief and tucked in an old boot. He opened it carefully, like it was a long-lost treasure. He nodded his head in recognition but he didn't smile. This wasn't a high he was all excited about and looking forward to. This high was a mission, a mission to kill the pain.

He took his time, changing into his sleep pants and a comfy old t-shirt. Then he got down that bottle of jack he kept on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. He was of a mind to mix his poisons. Shit, might as well get a cold beer too.

He plopped himself down hard on the sofa and he drew in a deep breath, then he said out loud, "Fuck it, let's do this." He cracked the beer open and unscrewed the cap from the bottle of jack, then carefully eased a few rocks from of the bag of dope. He took a pull from the bottle and a swallow from the can and he put a rock in the pipe.

The pipe was poised, he let out one more breath and he reached in his shirt pocket for the lighter.

Daryl hadn't seen his brother in three weeks and every time he did see him he looked worse than he had the time before. He still had no fucking clue exactly what had come down. Merle wasn't talking. But he was a 100&% sure whatever it was centered around Beth.

It being Friday night and all he figured what the hell? Might as well check in on big brother. He stopped on the way and got a couple of pizzas and a 12-pack. He wasn't quite old enough to buy booze but he had the look and he never got carded.

He had the pizzas balanced on the palm of one hand, and the 12-pack tucked between his bicep and his ribs when he leaned down and opened Merle's front door.

That's when he saw it. The pipe, the flame from the lighter and his brother just about to fire that shit up. He dropped the pizzas, dropped the beer and threw himself on his brother yelling, "The fuck ya doin' ya dumb ass muther fucker?!"

The fight was on. If there was one thing those Dixon brothers knew it was how to throw blows. They were off the couch and on the floor, the fists were flying and so were the cuss words. Daryl knew Merle could probably kick his ass but he didn't care. This was all he knew how to do to try and save the idiot from himself.

But suddenly his brother quit fighting back. It was like he just completely gave it up, like he wanted Daryl to beat the fuck right out of him. That's when Daryl backed off and looked at the man, "Tell me brother. What the fuck's got ya actin' like this? What's so terrible it's gonna make ya start doin' that shit again? Ya know ya damn near killed yourself before."

That's when he saw something he'd never seen before, something he never even thought about seeing, ever. He saw Merle Dixon get tears in his eyes and in a voice that didn't even sound like big brother's he kind of breathed out the words, "I fucked up man."

Daryl got to his feet, held out a hand to his brother and pulled him up, saying quietly, "Sit on the couch." Merle didn't argue. He also didn't try to stop his little brother from picking up the rock and the pipe and heading in the bathroom with it. He heard the toilet flush and knew it was the crystal, and then the faucet came on. He knew Daryl was being thorough, washing every crumb out of that pipe and getting any residue off his hands. He also knew it like he knew his name, little brother would be taking that pipe with him when he left.

Daryl came back in the room and picked up the pizza boxes and examined the contents. He looked at Merle and smiled that half-crooked smile of his, "Shit the pizza don't look bad, just lost a few lost pepperonis is all and the cheese slid. As hungry as I am it don't matter how it looks."

He set the pies on the coffee table and then retrieved the12-pack from the floor, smiled again and mumbled, "Shaken, not stirred," as he carried it in the kitchen. He stuck the 12'ver in the fridge and got a couple of unshaken cold ones out. He plopped his own ass down on the sofa, handed Merle one of the cans and simply said, "Talk."

Merle did. He was a man who hadn't talked, who'd never let on about anything to anyone. But once he started talking it was like he couldn't stop. He told little brother everything, start to finish. How it all began, yeah he was honest about having the hots for Sweet Beth Greene way back when she and Daryl were still in high school. He told him all about the original plan, and then how the plan had changed.

He told him how he almost took her and then how he thought better of it, and how he'd waited for her to say she was ready. He also told about the relationship he had with her family, all about her dream and all about his failed attempt at promotion. Then he told his brother about the offer, what she'd said, what he'd said, and the visit from her Daddy and her sister. Then he told him how he made a new plan to get her to go, and that he'd followed through with that plan.

Daryl just quietly ate pizza and drank beer as he listened to his brother go on. When Merle quit talking he checked, "Ya done?"

"Yeah."

"Ya know man, I don't know nuthin' about this relationship b.s., but I know you an I know Beth. I didn't know her much in school. Just that she was quiet an shy an she seemed real sweet. Now I know her better n I think she's a smart girl who knows what she wants, an I like how she's always so damn happy an smilin'."

"I've known your stubborn old ornery ass my whole life. Now I'm thinkin' you're stupid too. She said she loved ya an she didn't wanna go. Maybe ya shoulda believed her. Maybe ya shoulda told her Daddy an sister the two of ya was happy an it wasn't none a their fuckin' business. Then ya shoulda told her how they done that, how they ambushed ya that way. Just so she'd know. She had a right ta know. Then ya shoulda asked her would she marry ya. Dhe's the best fuckin' thing that ever came your way brother."

"Like I said though, I know ya. Bein' the dumbass an all all-around ornery sumbitch ya are, ya decided ta make her go, huh? Ya didn't give one shit what she wanted. The fuck Merle? Only way I can see you're gonna make this right is ta talk ta her, not me. Ya best go beggin' her back, ya could get lucky. Maybe she'll take pity an give your sorry ass one more chance."

Merle nodded as he took the words his brother spoke to heart. He decided he needed a new plan.

00

 **Beth**

It was the fourth day after he broke her heart. All those days the only time she'd gotten out of her bed was to use the bathroom. She hadn't showered, she wouldn't eat and she didn't talk about it. Mostly she just cried.

Maggie still hadn't gone home. Instead, Glenn had brought their stuff and they were both staying there. The thing was they were all in fear. Her Daddy, her Mama, Glenn and Maggie. In fear she'd hurt herself in a way that couldn't be fixed, in a permanent way. She was just that torn up, just that broken.

Then on that fourth day Beth looked at her sister and she seemed so calm and matter-of-fact when she said, "I want some wine. I want to drink a glass of wine and I want to talk to all of you about Merle Dixon. All of you."

Alcohol wasn't allowed in the Greene home, but of course that was before their baby girl had broken down. They would have done just about anything to get her to talk. Glenn rushed into town and bought the wine, he bought four bottles. He was thinking he was going to need some too, and he was sure Maggie was ready to down a bottle after all that had happened.

While he was gone Beth showered and got herself dressed.

The family gathered in the parlor of the old house and they tried not to just stare at her while she sipped the glass of wine.

Finally, she began to speak and she told them everything. She didn't really care anymore if they were shocked or hurt or disappointed by anything she'd done. She had other things she cared about so much more.

They listened quietly as she told them about the first time she saw Merle Dixon. She was only 16 years old and he'd come to her school to deliver news to Daryl. As shocked as they were when she said, "The minute I saw him I was very attracted to him. He was a man I wanted to know," they did their best to hide it, they still kept quiet.

She went on, she told them about the first date, about the other dates, about how he'd never forced her to do anything she didn't feel comfortable doing, and how he always tried so hard to do the things he thought she'd enjoy. Even though she often felt they were things he didn't care to do at all.

She even told them about that first drink she had and how she was feeling the alcohol and she was ready to give herself to him. But she told them Merle was an honorable man and he backed away and never tried again. Not until that day on the way home from the farm when she told him she wanted him to make love to her.

She saw her Daddy close his eyes a moment and she heard her Mama draw in a deep breath, but they didn't say anything. "I'm not going to tell you about that except to say he was very gentle and very careful with me. Merle never treated me with anything but kindness and love and respect."

"But I knew Merle never really believed he was good enough for me. While honestly, I wondered if I was good enough for him. He worked so hard at proving himself to me, but he worked just as hard at trying to prove himself to you. He was always so respectful to you, even though I know that had to be hard because frankly, you didn't always deserve it. A lot of times you were just plain rude."

"Think about how he bent over backwards. You knew he worked full time, you knew he went to school two nights a week. But yet you didn't hesitate to allow him to come out here and work hard for you every time he had a free minute. You took advantage of him wanting to show you his worthiness, and you took everything he had to give. Still you never showed him any real gratitude or any respect. You were too busy telling yourselves how a Dixon would never be good enough for your daughter."

"When Maggie called me with the school offer I was excited and appreciative, but I didn't want to go to culinary school anymore. I was happy at the bakery and I was happy with Merle. My life was so good right where I was."

"It was him. He wanted me to go, he kept telling me I shouldn't turn down such a terrific opportunity. He promised to wait for me. He told me he'd come to see me and that we'd make it work. He couldn't quite believe that it just didn't matter to me anymore. I was content right there with him."

"I've laid in bed these past few days and I've thought a lot about the way things were between Merle and me. I know he loved me, you can't fake that for all that time. And I know I love him more than anything. I'm pretty sure he was ready to ask me to marry him, but something happened to change his mind."

"I also know you had something to do with it. I know you somehow influenced him. I don't know what or how, but I know. You can try to tell yourselves you did it for me, that all you ever cared about was my happiness. We all know that's not true. You cared about yourselves and your expectations. You wanted what you thought was best. You cared about what the neighbors and the folks at church thought. What you didn't care about was what I wanted and what I felt. You damn sure didn't care about Merle."

"I guess you got what you wanted and now culinary school is what I have left. So good for all of you, you won."

Without saying another word she refilled her glass and went back to her room.

The next morning she was up extra early and at the bakery long before her shift started. She wanted to talk with the bakery manager. She'd work there for a few years now, it felt like a home to her. She cared about the people she worked with and she knew they cared about her. She needed to make this right.

She told the bakery manager all about the big opportunity but that she'd continue working until she had to leave at the end of the month, when the next round of courses began. They chatted about what she'd like to do when she completed her schooling. He was happy for her and he told her, "No one deserves that more than you Beth. You're a master, in fact I bet you could teach those people at that fancy school a thing or two. And I like your plan. Thanks for the notice and thanks for staying on. I hate to see you go, but I get it."

00

She met him almost as soon as she got to New York, they were enrolled in the same course, but it wasn't just that. They had some kind of instant connection. He was so good and so pure and kind. They became close right away.

She told him all about Merle and how things had happened and how she'd come to be there, and he told her his story. He'd had a lot of relationship struggles mostly with letting people in. Although his struggles weren't the same as hers, the two of them did share common ground.

Neither he nor Beth felt like they quite "fit in" with the rest of the students, so they mostly hung out together. They'd meet for coffee before school and they had their lunches together, and they often had dinner together, either at his place or hers.

It was so good to have someone to talk to, really talk to and to be completely honest with. She didn't think there was a thing she couldn't tell him, and there didn't seem to be anything he wouldn't tell her. She wondered if she ever would have lasted there without him, and she was pretty sure the answer was no.

There was a certain someone though and that someone was always on her mind. He was someone she knew would always have ownership of her heart. Merle was still the man she loved and he always would be.

00

Little brother went home Saturday morning and Merle got busy. He did those things around the house and yard he should have been doing all along. They needed done and he needed to wear himself out. He went to the grocery and got food for the week, came back home and put a chicken in the pot. He planned to dry-out for a while and get back to regular eating.

He washed his uniforms and did something he'd been neglecting to do since he started drinking so hard, he pressed them. He shined his work shoes, and then he hurried out to the barber shop before they closed and got his haircut. He even treated himself to a hot shave.

Sunday morning he was up early and he and little brother went fishing. He told him of his plan. His brother nodded, smiled and commented, "Well that's one a your better plans for sure. I hope it all goes your way brother."

He went home, washed his truck and he was ready to get serious.

Monday after work he went right over to the VoTech school and talked to his instructor. He'd lost a lot of days and he was a long way behind, but the guy agreed to let him back in and to give him a chance to try and catch up.

From there he called on his tutor and she was real angry with him. He didn't blame her. He took what she dished out, a pretty good tongue lashing. Then they discussed it and came up with a plan for him to make this happen.

That was how Merle Dixon spent all of his time over the next few weeks. When he wasn't working on the job he was working hard at catching up his schooling. He was keeping his house up and his yard up, eating regular and keeping his nose clean. He took Sunday mornings off to spend with his brother like they used to do.

All the while he did all of those things, she never left his mind. He knew she never would. She lived there the same as she lived in his heart. Forever.

It was six weeks after little brother showed up at his door with pizza and beer and saved him from himself. That's when he went to the boss and asked to take a couple of his vacation days. It was arranged, one of the call drivers would fill in for him the following Thursday and Friday.

He was heading to New York City to try and get back what he'd so carelessly lost.

00

 **A/N Daryl called Merle out and Beth called her whole family out, and now the big man is headed to NYC. Thanks for reading along and please leave a review / comment. The chapter photo is posted on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check it out. I hope to see you all back her next Wednesday for more of _The Sacrifice_. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Welcome to our Thursday story on Wednesday :) I thank you all so much for reading this fic and for the follows, favors and comments. I've enjoyed writing this Merle, who is far more angsty than my usual version.**

 **When we left off the Big Man had decided to head to the really Big City. Let's see how that worked out.**

00

Merle knew the guy liked to stay "informed" about everything that went on at the store, hell town in general. He wasn't just a perv, he was a snoop and a gossip. That nosy butcher wasn't even smart enough to realize he was being pumped for information. Merle was able to learn the name of the school Beth was attending in less than five minutes of bullshitting.

It was a long ass drive up to New York City but Merle didn't care how long it took, he needed to get to her. He wanted her back more than anything and that was his big hope, that she'd give him one more chance. But even if she told him to go fuck himself, and he wouldn't blame her one bit if she did, he wanted to at least apologize. He knew he'd never really rest again until he'd told her face to face, he didn't mean those terrible things he'd said to her.

So with his plan in his mind and his resolve firm he was going to do this thing. He figured it at just over 900 miles and about a 14 hour drive, depending on traffic.

The first part of the plan was to go right home from work on Wednesday, take a fast shower, grab the already packed case and hit the road. That's what he did. Before leaving town he pulled in a fast food joint and grabbed himself a couple of burgers and a hot coffee. He was set and he was heading that way.

He didn't figure he'd make it straight through. That was unrealistic after working all day. He knew he'd have to stop and rest and that was okay, he'd get to the city by Thursday mid-afternoon at the latest. Then he'd find her.

He cranked up the radio for company, he was listening to those old roadhouse tunes he knew would help keep him awake. His fingers were tapping the steering wheel along to the beat, but his mind wasn't really there. His mind was on his sweet Honey, or the woman that used to be his sweet Honey. He prayed to God he could win her back. He'd do whatever the fuck she wanted him to, if only he could have that one more chance to prove his love.

He'd been such a fool. He knew that. Little brother was right, he should have listened to her and not her grouchy old daddy or he prying older sister. He saw it clearly now, he wished he'd seen it before.

* * *

She was enjoying the course more than she thought she would. She especially liked learning about and tasting foods she never even knew existed. She'd already learned so many chef's "secrets" and she felt like there were many of them she'd use over and over. She even enjoyed something she had once been so certain she'd hate, the challenge of friendly, and sometimes not so friendly, competition with her fellow students.

She credited her time with Merle for that. She'd grown so much and had become so much more confident. She thought maybe it was how positive he always was about everything she did. She smiled but it was more with melancholy than any kind of joy. She missed the man.

Fact was, her mind was never far from Merle Dixon. No matter how busy she was, no matter how much fun she and her new friend had together, Merle was always with her. He'd hurt her so badly but that wasn't what she thought about. It was the happy times she chose to focus on, the good things. She thought about how sweet he was to her and how good they'd been together, and how much she'd like to feel his arms around her once again.

* * *

He'd stopped at what he figured was pretty close to being the halfway mark. He just needed a few short but solid hours of sleep. Then he'd be ready to roll again. The sleep didn't come quickly. He was keyed up from the drive and his mind wouldn't quiet down. He was excited at the prospect of seeing her again, but also so concerned. There was a far bigger chance of this going wrong than there was of it going right.

He was amazed when he woke to find he'd slept at all, but he felt surprisingly refreshed and ready to hit the road again. He showered and shaved and he was out there on the road again, stopping a couple of hours later to get fuel for the pickup and some breakfast for himself.

He'd never been to New York City and long before he got there, when he was still in the outlying areas, he was overwhelmed by the great sea of people, buildings and vehicles. He was glad he hadn't arrived at rush hour because as crazy-busy and congested as this was, he couldn't even imagine what that must be like. It made Atlanta seem downright peaceful.

He trusted his GPS to find the place and it didn't let him down. He drove right up to the school but there was no parking. That was another thing about this city, there was no such thing as just pulling into a parking spot. There was a parking garage two blocks down where the day rate was plenty steep, but at least it was a spot.

He walked back toward the school, just thinking he'd snoop around the outside for a few minutes and scope out what was what. Then maybe he could figure out exactly how he was going to find her there.

He didn't have to work at it too hard, he spotted her almost immediately.

* * *

Thursday was a big day for her. There was an important challenge that would last all morning. She and the others would have to make four desserts and each must somehow incorporate chocolate ganache. She felt reasonably confident, she'd made ganache many times. It was just that even the mention of it made her feel a tug on her heart. It was Merle's favorite.

One of the desserts she'd chosen to make was the one he liked best. It was chocolate raspberry cupcakes with chocolate ganache filling and chocolate ganache icing. The first time she made them for him he told her they were the best dessert he'd ever eaten. She could tell by the way he seemed to savor them it was true. But she smiled a sad little smile thinking of that now, because he said it about everything she made him. No one was more supportive than Merle.

She and her friend had plans for after the challenge. They were going to just kick back on the lawn enjoying the sunshine and their hour and a half lunch break. He had a small personal cooler and he told her he'd bring lunch. It was something new he wanted her to try.

She brought the blanket for them to sit on and bought two waters from the vending machine.

They shared the lunch and with just one bite she was all smiles, "This is delicious, oh my gosh, bravo. Are you sure you want to stick with a career in pastries?" He smiled back, "Yes I''m sure. I just do this kind of cooking for the special people in my life." He had the most beautiful and contagious smile and when he smiled his eyes seemed to sparkle.

With the challenge now over and Beth having won, and him placing a very close second, they were feeling almost giddy. They talked and joked and enjoyed the pretty day, the delicious food and each other's company.

Merle Dixon stood out of sight and watching. Sure he felt like some kind of stalker and major asshole, but he just couldn't take his eyes off of her. He'd swear he could feel it as his heart broke, but he was happy for her. He told himself there was nothing to be done but accept it, he'd been easy to replace.

Whoever this guy was he was no doubt much better suited to her. He was closer to her age and he had a quick and friendly smile. It was obvious by the way they talked and laughed with each other, they were close, they were connected. Merle knew now that he was off her mind and out of her heart. It was his own fucking fault, and knowing that made it hurt even more.

But he continued to watch. This was likely the last time he'd see her and he just wanted to take in as much of her as he possibly could. The guy she was with stood and then reached a hand out to her to help her up. At least he was a gentleman. And Merle couldn't help but notice, he'd never felt that way about a man, but if a man could be called pretty, this guy was just that. Yeah, he was a much better choice for her. Honey had done good.

He watched while they folded the blanket together and she tucked it under her arm. The guy packed up the little cooler and leaned in and kissed her cheek. Damn.

Merle turned to go, he'd grab a room somewhere, sleep for a while, if that was even possible, and get his ass back to Georgia. But no, he couldn't leave yet. He hadn't done something that was so important to him, he hadn't told her just how sorry he was.

He walked over to them, his pace quick and determined. He wanted to look confident, matter-of-fact, not like the crushed soul he was. She saw the movement from the corner of her eye and turned to look his way. Her mouth dropped open as her eyebrows shot up. Her friend noticed her reaction and took her hand, "You okay Beth."

She could barely squeak out the words, "It's Merle." Her friend squeezed her hand tighter.

He spoke right out and he spoke quickly, before he lost his cool. He wanted out of there but first he just needed to tell her what he'd come to tell her, well a part of it anyway. Then he'd get his ass the hell out of her way. He held his palms up in front of him to show he was no threat, "I don't want nuthin' from ya, I didn't come ta bother you an your new friend. I just come ta tell ya how sorry I am for the things I said an the things I done. I didn't mean any of it. I love ya, I always have an I respect ya in every way. I was the asshole ta beat all assholes for doin' what I done. I ain't expectin' forgiveness. I don't deserve that. I just wanted ya to know." He looked to the younger man with her, nodded and said, "Sorry ta interrupt."

He turned to walk away, but then he felt her small hand grip his bicep and he heard her say, "Wait. Merle." His eyes closed for just a second or two as he drew in a deep breath and turned to her. "Yeah Honey, I mean, sorry, yeah Beth?"

He saw those tears just glistening there in her eyes, not falling, just there tormenting him. He wanted to hold her just like he'd wanted to hold her that night. After what felt like forever, she finally spoke, "Merle, I appreciate you coming all this way to tell me that. I'd like to talk to you, I'd like for us to talk together. How long will you be in the city? I have plans tonight but I could miss classes tomorrow." With that she looked at the younger man and Merle's heart broke even more.

He was just about to tell her he was going to be leaving right then, he saw no good reason to prolong this torture, but her friend spoke up. "It's okay Beth, go with Merle. We can do it another time."

She said, "No, that's not fair, you and I had plans. I'm not going to just toss you aside that way." She wanted to, that's just what she wanted to do, she was dying to spend time with Merle. There was so much she had to say to him.

Her friend smiled shyly and shrugged his shoulders, "Um, the truth is, that new guy I told you about, Aaron, aka Mister Tall and Handsome, he owns that new wine bar in the Village. He asked me to come by tonight. He said he'd like me to try a flight of reds and I think I'd like that."

"Oh my gosh! Really? I'm so happy and excited for you!" And she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

Merle was confused now, he needed a minute to digest everything that had just been said. Then her friend reached out his hand to him, "Sorry, I didn't even introduce myself. My name's Paul, Paul Rovia, but my friends call me Jesus."

Merle extended his hand, "Yeah, uh nice ta meet ya, I'm Merle. Merle Dixon. Jesus huh? Ya do look a lot like him." And for the first time in a long time Merle actually laughed. It wasn't all humor, most of it was tension release. Jesus was obviously not her boyfriend, just a good friend.

"I think I would have recognized you anywhere Merle. Beth has told me everything about you, and more than once." Beth gave him a shoulder bump and pretended to scold him, "Oh yeah? Well I've heard about old what's his name plenty too."

Things were going better already.

00

His plan had changed from him blowing town to him getting the cheapest and closest room he could find. Hell, in NYC that could cost him 300 bucks a night. Not that he gave a crap. He'd go in hock to spend this time with her.

But then she changed his plan again.

"No Merle, you can just come to my place. I've got a couch that's pretty comfortable, Jesus has spent a few nights on it."

"Ya sure Honey?" She couldn't mean it, wasn't she pissed at him?

"Yes, I'm sure. It's not that I've forgiven you, and it's not that all is well between us, or that we're going to just forget about everything that happened. It's about us being able to talk, really talk, in private. And just so you know, it's nothing fancy. It's the size of a shoebox, but it's only temporary."

"I'm sure it's just right, and thank you Beth. I know I don't deserve ya bein' this nice ta me."

"And you can just stop _that_ shit right now Merle Dixon. That'll be a good first step. I'm so tired of hearing what you don't deserve. I'll decide what I think you deserve from me."

He was genuinely shocked. His sweet Honey was a new woman and he was digging her feistiness . "Yes ma'am, I'll keep all that in mind."

She told him, "You'll never get parking anywhere near my place." They walked down to the parking garage and he grabbed his bag and paid the fee for the night. Then they walked to the subway train.

She wasn't kidding, the streets around there were just as crazy-busy as everywhere else. Her place was a third floor walkup and it really wasn't much bigger than a shoebox. It was one room and a bathroom. There was a small kitchen area, a double bed, a sofa, a coffee table, small writing table, and small kitchen table with two chairs. But she had it fixed up real cute and feminine and the look of it made him smile. "It's real nice Honey, it looks like it's just your style."

She made a pot of coffee and she made them sandwiches. "I have wine and beer if we want some after while, but for now I'd like us to talk. Really talk. I want to start with you Merle Dixon. You tell me your version of all this – from the start."

He was honest, just like he'd been with Daryl. He told her about his immediate attraction to the 16 year old Beth Greene. He told her the truth about his initial plan and the changes to the plan, and he also told her, "I never lied about lovin' ya. The lie I told was when I said I didn't."

He told her about the feelings he had from the beginning, that he wasn't good enough. And he told her about the job interview and how depressed he'd been when he didn't get it, and the new class and the new tutor. "I'm gonna be interviewed again in the next six or eight months and I'm hopin' ta God I get my chance this time. But I already made up my mind, if I don't I'ma just keep tryin'."

"I wish you would have trusted me enough to talk to me about it. That's part of people being together Merle. It's not just about the good things, is it? It can't be. It's also about when things are bad, or you're just having a bad day. You're there for each other. That's one of the best things. You're there even when you'd like to slap the other person silly."

"Is that how ya woulda handled it Beth, slap me silly?" His eyes had a twinkle in them.

"No. I would have kicked you in the butt and told you to prove to them just how wrong they were. But you didn't give me a chance."

He rubbed his hand over his head and along the back of his neck, "Yeah, you're right. I see that now."

Then he told her how it all came to a head when she got the offer. How he was having so much trouble living with the guilt of her not going to school, and how he was sure it was because of him.

"So you decided not to believe what I told you, is that it Merle? Because you think you know what I want better than I do? I had quite a few people like that in my life then. Everyone knew what was best for poor dumb Beth, except Beth."

"Honey no, I never thought ever that you was dumb. I know I fucked up but it wasn't cuz I thought that about you, I's the dumb one."

"Anyway, sumthin' got into me an I just knew if I didn't force it, if I didn't do sumthin' you was gonna pass up your big chance. I couldn't live with that. That's the only reason I said them things. I never meant 'em, ya gotta know that."

"Merle do you see it, what you did? You decided what I wanted for me, and it wasn't at all what I wanted. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted you. Just like you are. I loved you so much. And I wanted to stay at the bakery. I enjoyed the work, and I loved the people I worked with. I was happy there. And I wanted to marry you, I hoped you'd ask me. I wanted to live in your home and have a life with you, I even thought about how many children we'd have. I wanted it all with you. But you didn't ask and you didn't listen to me. I guess you thought you knew best."

"Shit Honey, I see all that now. It took little brother callin' me out for me ta catch on. I'm a fool. A fool that would do any damn thing ya told me if I could just have one more chance."

"You still haven't been completely honest with me Merle, you're still holding out."

He was genuinely confused now. "What? I told it all."

"No. You weren't completely honest. You didn't tell me about my family."

His mouth dropped, "I, I just couldn't cause ya any trouble with em. They're your people an all."

"Well you've caused trouble with my people ever since our first date, but not because you did anything wrong. I wasn't fair to you Merle. I was in the wrong. All along I should have fought harder for you, I should have raised all kinds of hell about the way they treated you. I should have been that kind of lover to you, the woman who fights for her man. But I wasn't, and I didn't."

"When you broke my heart I was a mess. But after lying in bed crying for a few days it all started to come in loud and clear. I suspected why you did what you did. Daryl called you out, but I called out my family. I knew they had to have somehow intervened. They never admitted to anything, but I knew."

"Last weekend Maggie and my Daddy showed up here. I guess my Mama had a part in that, Glenn too. They told them they needed to come clean and they told me they didn't really argue. They'd been feeling real guilty. So I do know about how they ambushed you on the job and I know about what they said, and I now about what you said."

"I know you told them you didn't appreciate them going to your work to tell you they thought you were worthless. I know you told them you encouraged me to go and I wouldn't. I know you asked them what kind of fool would force me to leave him. Then you came home and forced me to leave you."

The tears were glistening in her eyes and he felt his own stinging at his. "I know, I's so wrong Beth, an I'm so sorry. I was the fool I said I wasn't gonna be."

"Despite everything, I love you Merle, but I just don't know. How can I trust you not to do it again the next time things get rough? Or just as bad, would you always think it was your job to decide what's best for me? Would you never trust me to have my own ideas about what I want?"

"I know you're right. I can't even believe ya let me come back here an talk ta ya, you're a special person Beth. I always did know that. I had the best thing a guy ever had an I totally screwed the pooch."

"I carry part of the blame and my family does too. You know what? I could go for a glass of wine. Do you want a beer?"

"God yes, I need one." They both laughed on that.

He opened her wine and she cracked his beer and they took their drinks back to the couch. "So now that you're here I'd like ya ta tell me all about your school Beth. What's it like an are ya enjoyin' it?"

He listened and sipped at his beer, from time to time he asked a question or made a comment. Then she asked him about his class and the tutor. She wanted to know all about what he was learning and what the interviewing and testing for the job were all about."

He went through three beers and she had two glasses of wine while they talked.

They'd shared, they laughed and they'd been serious. They'd been encouraging with each other and they both felt more at peace, more settled.

He took his bag in the bathroom and got ready for bed, coming out in sleep paints and a tank style undershirt. She had blankets and a pillow waiting for him on the couch. He nodded "Thanks Honey." But it was killing him, she'd be so close but so far.

It was worse when she went in the bathroom and came out in her nightie. It wasn't that it was some sexy thing, it really wasn't sexy at all. But she looked so damn pretty and he wanted her so much. If nothing else he'd like to hold her one more time.

She crawled in her bed, said, "Goodnight Merle, I hope you sleep well. And he answered, "Thanks Honey, you too." And she flipped off the light.

His sleep was fitful, it seemed he woke every five minutes. But this time when he woke she was sitting on the couch next to him, her fingers running through his hair as she softly whispered, "Merle."

He was focusing in on her and his hand went to rest on her hip, "Yeah Honey?"

"Come to bed with me now."

"There ain't nuthin' I want more than that, but are ya sure Beth?"

"Yes."

They slipped under the covers and the first thing he wanted was just to hold her. His face was buried in her soft blond curls, and he realized even more just how much he'd missed this with her.

Their lovemaking was slow, even a little tentative at first. It wasn't from lack of desire. At first he wasn't sure what it was, and then he was. He moved his hand away from her breast, bringing it up to her face as his fingers wound in her hair. "I gotta know Honey, is it just tonight? Is this one a those 'just one more time for old time sake', or are we gonna go for it? Are we gonna make this thing work?"

"What do you want Merle?"

"I want you Beth, all a ya. I wanna marry ya, I want ya ta move in my house for good an make it our home. I wanna give ya them children ya want an a pup in the yard. Mostly I want what you want. So tell me Beth, please."

Now her hands were on his face, her fingers winding in his hair. "I want that too, and yes I will."

 **Epilogue**

Six months later, when her schooling was complete and she was home for good, they married. The small ceremony took place right in their own backyard. Daryl stood up with his brother and Jesus stood with Beth. Merle Dixon was the happiest man in the south when he finally got to slip that ring on her finger, it felt like he'd been waiting forever.

She made her own wedding cake and it wasn't a cake at all. It was a big tray of chocolate raspberry cupcakes with chocolate ganache filling and chocolate ganache icing.

She was taking two weeks off, then she was going back to work at the bakery. Just like she planned to do before she ever left, just like she'd arranged with the baker. She'd also be doing a little side business, making specialty desserts for the steakhouse and two other restaurants in town.

Once again Merle had been passed over for the job in the logistics department. What was different this time was he went right home to his wife and they talked about it. He wasn't giving up, he'd just keep trying.

In the meantime they were real happy. They both had exactly what they wanted in life, each other.

 _The End_

 **A/N Sometimes the best plans are the ones that fall through, making room for a better plan. Thank you all very much for reading this story. It's one I've enjoyed writing so much. I'd appreciate it if you left a comment / review. The chapter photo is posted on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check it out. I hope to be back soon with a new Merle and Beth story, and I hope to see you all back with me :) Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee**


End file.
